Monday, March 7, 2011


We lost a house. A home. A dream. Yes. It hurts.

But I didn't loose a loved one tonight. I didn't lose a child.

Yes, we are hurting, but deep down, we believe God has a plan for us... to prosper us and give us hope.

Things could always be worse, right? That's not to say that we don't have a right to feel hurt or let down right now or confused. We do. But it could always be worse.

God, I did this before...once. I stood at Disney in front of the castle about to watch fireworks and I died to a dream. I gave up having another child. A boy in particular. But I remember saying that I give up having anymore children. I'd be okay with that. And I asked you for your dreams for us. To give me your dreams. I got pregnant that night with Sara.

Here I am again, in tears again, asking you to give me your dreams for us. Help us die to this and be open to what you do have for us. I know it will take time. But I'm in this for the long haul. Lead us Lord. Give us Your dreams. Tonight I die to the dream of THIS house. I die to having any new home now. I will wait for whatever it is You have for us. Help through this. We can't do this without you. I can't do this without you.

Your will be done.


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