I'm scared. And you want to know why? Because....somewhere deep down, I still believe God could do a miracle if He wanted too. There is NOTHING my hubby and I can do to make this happen. It's in the hearts of those who make the decisions (some exceptions can be made). It's in God's hands. We can't turn a person's heart one way or another, but scripture is filled with examples of how God did. And somewhere down deep, I'm still praying for this miracle. That maybe all this has happened so that there was nothing we could do to make it happen. It had to be a gift from God...totally. And we'd have to know that. I'm crazy aren't I?
I'm scared what will happen when we get the call and all our money back. I'm so scared of losing faith. I'm scared of depression. I'm scared to look again. I'm scared what our future holds here.
Please God...one way or another.... I need you.