Thursday, March 3, 2011

bygones be bygones

So, a friend and I had this falling out. It all started with a misunderstanding.

I was hurt to say the least and wanted to wash my hands of the whole thing.

But I have come to realize that this person did mean something too me. So lately I have been thinking about the friendship, all the misunderstandings, ect. I had realized that friendship meant more to me than some of the childish antics that have played out.

I have tried to slowly reach to out the this person. Nothing. No answers. Someone close to them gave a reason for no answers that seemed plausible. Apparently she even told this person we were all good, so to speak.

Since the issue of no answer was resolved, I have tried again to reach out to them. Again, nothing. I am hurt. And despite what they apparently tell others, things are not fine between us. I am no fool. It is what it is. I will not chase after anyone. Especially one who has caused me great heart ache in the past.

I will still chose to be friendly when around said person. We'll call it "neighborly". The friendship seems to definitely be gone. It does hurt. But that hurt at least goes to show me that I really did care.

I have chosen to not hate. I have chosen to let bygones be bygones. I will smile. I will wave. I will say hello. I will still treat them as I always have, but will never again go out of my way for them like I had in the past. I will not hold on to any ill will or hurt. What is the point in that? I hope for the very best for them. We both are apparently going on with our lives.

Someone told me I was being the "bigger person". Maybe. But that's not what this is about. This about moving on and not holding on to toxic emotions that just eat you up and make you bitter. This about my way of having some kind of closure. My way of moving on and being happy.

Life goes on and so must we all it with it.

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