Thursday, September 22, 2011

Is Chivalry Dead?

I was flipping through the channels this afternoon while my youngest napped, and this question was asked, "Is chivalry dead?". It made me stop and listen to the them discuss it. One person said they didn't think it was dead, but that it was dying. WOW. This made me think.

My husband, is first and foremost, a man. He is forgetful, and sometimes well.... A man. Ladies, you know what I mean. But he still opens doors for me. We'll be married 12 years next month and he still does this. He still won't let anyone talk down to me. And when I'm sick (really sick), he puts to bed and waits on me, makes sure I have my medications when needed, gives me soup, and if needed, will hold my hair while I get sick. And he'll step right up with the girls and do what I do with them (only in his way).

Is chivalry dead? Not at my house. And believe it or not, this is not a post about my husband, but my girls instead.

We are raising three daughters. I want them to be treated by a man the way they see their dad treat me. I want them to know they are worth it.

A man should never talk down to his spouse/girlfriend. A man should never raise a hand to her. A man should never belittle her or make her feel as if she has no worth.

A real man will make the woman he is with feel like a queen. He will let her know that she is precious to him. He will not be afraid to show his feelings or tell her he loves her.

I want our daughters to know this. I want them to expect it!! Because the minute they don't, the minute they lower their standards, it will be lost. Men will treat you the way you allow them too. If you set a high bar in the beginning, they (more times than not) will want to meet and/or exceed that bar. They want to impress you. And sooner or later, it will become habit.

In the same respect, my girls need to know how to treat a man. They are not your servant. They are not your punching bag. They require respect and admiration, the same as we require it. They should never take their men for granted, but always be appreciative of them.

It's a give and take.

Parents, teach your children these things. Teach them how to treat and respect one another. You'd be surprised how far it could take them in life..... And who knows, if everyone did this; if everyone taught their kids these things, our world may just start becoming a better place.... one person at a time.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Women of Strength

The few people who follow this know I lost my dad when I was 11 years old. Today is his birthday. He would have been 60.

I miss him so much. I look at my three girls and imagine what he would have been like with them. He would have adored them, I know. I think of him often.

When hallmark days like this come around, it is yet another reminder of all my own mother must have gone through. She was widowed at about my age, with three young girls; just like me. I can only imagine the heartache and strength it took to get up every morning and try to raise us three girls and get back to living again.

My mom and dad were high school sweethearts and each others' best friend. Her whole world came crashing down when he died. The amount of strength and character it took to raise us.... She is an unbelievable woman. And she isn't the only one in my family who is. It would seem as if my family full of remarkable, strong women.

You see, my mom has three sisters. And as much as I would love to be able to sit here and tell you that my mom was the only one tragedy struck, I can't.

One of my aunts lost her son in a terrible car accident when he was just 16 years of age. His life was just really starting. My cousin was good person. Very family orientated. He would have grown to be an amazing man.

Another one of my aunts, years later, lost her eldest son in a car accident. My mom and another aunt came across the accident. They went with the trooper to the house to deliver the bad news. He too was a good person. Just 18 years of age. The world lost such a wonderful talent when he passed. Another family member gone too soon.

And last by not least, is my eldest aunt. She was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago. She fought hard. She is in remission now, and we can't wait for the 5 yr mark of no cancer.

And now, as if these women have not endured enough in life, their father (my grandfather) has Alzheimer's and Lung Cancer. He has refused treatment for the cancer. These women, all of them, rally behind him and grandmother. Checking in often, taking them places, visiting, going to Alzheimer's meeting, and keeping up with the latest research, and promoting the cause in their own ways.

There are days in my life, when I feel as if I am standing on my last leg. Where I feel beaten up, weak. Days when I feel like all I want to do is cry. But then, I remember all these remarkable women of my family. I remember all they have endured. I remember their strength. It's a lot to live up to. But somewhere in me, that same blood runs. There I days I have to find that strength (like today), but I know it's there.

If ever I needed a role model, I don't just have one, but I have four. Four women who have shown me what it means to stay strong, fight. Four women who have faced some of the worst life has to dish out, and have not only survived, but have not let it make them bitter, they still enjoy life. Four women who have shown me it's okay to hurt. It's okay to struggle. It's okay to have bad days. But it's not okay to let them get the best of me. It's not okay to let those days over-shadow the light that's in each of us. And when I look at my three girls, I can only hope that this same strength flows through them.

I hate that my family has endured so much pain (and still is). I would not wish these events on my worst enemy, if I had one. But it's because of these events I can truly see how amazing and remarkable the women of my family are. I wonder if they know it? I wonder if they have ever stopped to realize the impact they each have made on this family in their struggles? Probably not. That's just who they are. And I wouldn't trade a one of them for all the money in the world.

My heartaches for all they have gone through. But I can't thank the four of them enough for all their love, support, and strength they have shown me we possess. I am one very blessed woman to not only know these women, but call them family. And should I ever start to stumble, I know all I have to do is look up, they'll be there. Reminding me of what all we can accomplish, endure, and overcome.... as a family... as women of strength.

Thursday, September 8, 2011


Life is heavy tonight.

Last night I blogged about finding my missing cousin and the up coming bridal shower I'm throwing. A call was made to my missing cousin tonight. The ball is in his court now. We'll see.

Found out about a old friend tonight. We lost contact some years ago. I miss her.

And, my granddad is getting worse. He had an.... "episode"... today. Lately we've all been noticing slips. I hate Alzheimer's.

I feel....Heavy... tonight. I guess that's the word for it. Just....Heavy.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Random stuff

I have a lot swimming through my head tonight. Thought possibly blogging about it would help.

I have my sisters bridal shower here at the new house this weekend. I FINALLY have a place big enough and nice enough to do stuff like this. A place I'm proud of. I love it! But I'm nervous too. For many reasons. Most of all... I want my sister to impressed. I want to her enjoy it. I want her to LOVE it!! I hope I can pull this off.

I have really enjoyed decorating for it. Spent more than I should have, but I don't care. She's only doing this once (she BETTER be only doing this once. lol). It's sooo worth it if I can make her proud and have her (and everyone else) have a good time.

I am also nervous because this is the first time I'm holding any kind of event really at my new place. I know people will be checking it out. Checking out the decorations, the food, all of it. I know it's stupid. But let's face it...people judge. I just want them all to have fun, enjoy, and feel comfortable. I don't want to fail anyone, and I fear I'm going too. I have failed a lot in life, and still do. I just want this to be as close to perfect as it can be. Both for the bride, and everyone else. I have NEVER hosted a thing in my life! Wish me luck! Almost 30 people will be here. I know that's small to a lot of people out there, but to me, it's a decent amount. *deep breath*

In other news....

I have gotten a dress for her wedding. I'm excited. It fits perfect. TOO perfect. I have been losing weight. I need to lose another 5 lbs to be a little more comfortable in it. I'm walking now in the morning. I am watching what eat. The wedding is in a month. Wish me luck! I need to lose the weight. I can't show up in another dress. My sister (the bride) picked it out! lol

I have found my long lost cousin too! Well... sord of. It's long long story. But my he was almost my brother once. My parents tried to adopt him. I haven't seen him in about 8 years. My middle sister hasn't seen him in about 6 years. We set out a search to find him. I found his (what ended up being) his ex-wife. She seems cool. =) She gave us his cell number. Now all that's left is to call. Sounds easy enough, right?

How do you make that call? How do you call someone you haven't spoken too in about a decade? What do you say?

"Hey! Remember me? Sorry to bother you, but we were just wondering how you have been doing..." Sounds so cheesy. No matter how true it is. He is really kinda like the last family link to our dad's side of the family. I always thought of him as a the big brother I never had. *sigh*

Even with all this....and some other things...I can honestly say I am happier than I have ever been. Life is good.

Now I just need find time between now and December to have some really good friends of mine over. Again, sounds easy right? You have NO idea how booked up I already am. lol But I Really want some "mommy time" with my girls friends. A bunch of us moms, some wine, some food, and some good times. Maybe that'll be my next project. lol