...with good intentions.
I did something today. I did the "right" thing by all accounts. However....others got involved and now a little girl was hurt. Not physically. But emotionally. I feel lower than low.
I have tried to tell myself that if the initial party did the right thing to begin with, this all could have been avoided. And there is truth to that. But . . . In the end my actions hurt a child.
I don't know. Maybe it's a combination of every one's actions. In the end, does it really matter who is to blame? Me? The party who said something to someone else? The third party for running their mouth? The parents of the hurt girl? All that matters is a little girl is hurting tonight and no one can do a damn thing about it. When I learned of it, I felt physically ill. I thought I was gonna be sick. My heart aches for her and her parents. What happened should have never happened. Ever.
I want to turn back time. But I can't. I'm sure her parents do too.
I know in my heart, there was no malice. There was no "gossip". There was no wrong doing. There was only good intentions. There was only doing the right thing.
However other people who were to NEVER be involved somehow got involved. And not by my hand.
Now, I have to decide on another matter.
Do I let my children play with the offending child (not the offended)? She is already is no longer allowed in my home. The child has no respect for anyone or their things. She has been known to be cruel. A lot actually. What she did to today....was ... too far. However my kids were not there and we were not involved. We weren't even home. But I'm not so sure I want my kids around such a kid at all anymore.
But this child's parent's...aren't the most responsible parents. I know she likes me. Do I try to be a good influence in her life still? Even after all she's done? What will happen to my children if I allow her to stay in their lives? When does one say enough is enough?
I know all this is cryptic. But to give details would be to air other people's business and no matter how confusing this is, or how awful a light it seems to paint me in, I know better. And I can't air other people's stuff.
I just needed to vent. To let it all out. I wish I could help the child that is hurting. More than words can say. =(