Monday, February 14, 2011

It's V day, but ouch.

It's Valentine's Day. I have had the best time with my kids the past few days. =) Today went well too. =) I am content. I like saying that. Not many people can. I am married to a great guy. I have wonderful kids. I have an awesome family. And the friends in my life at this moment, well... A person couldn't ask for better. We're about to embark on a journey to purchase a new home. Life isn't perfect, but it's good.

All this being said...

I'm hurting a little. I didn't want to believe it. I have tried hard to just concentrate on the good I have right now. But, it's there. Buried.

There was a friend of mine who I really liked. A misunderstanding has lead to a falling out. I miss this person. I wanted to not care. But the truth is, I do. I'm sad at the loss of the friendship.

Then there is another friend who I have seemed to have lost. They made one to many negative comments about my marriage on the web. I told them I wasn't going to tolerate that anymore. Instead of an apology, I got a passive-aggressive comment/stance. I tried to be patient and point out the flaw in their logic. It went ignored and got deleted. But their attacking comeback to me remained. I just am not going to stand by and let people bash my marriage who not around to even see it. I have a good marriage. It wasn't always so. Last year was very hard. But we have moved passed it. Every marriage has their ups and downs. And we have moved through our down and worked on it and are still working on it. We are happy. I will stand up for my man and my marriage.

This person had a very selfish way about them. They said whatever they wanted about anything they wanted. Even if it wasn't right to do so. I use to tell them that they had no filter. We argued about it several times. I expect children to say whatever comes to their mind. But adults are suppose to mature passed that to a point where you know what's ok to say and not to say (most of the time. Lets face it...none of is us perfect). They way they saw things was the ONLY way. They could never be wrong. And apologies, well, they never really existed with them. It was so much easier for them to attack me then, then just say they were sorry.

I had to cut this person out of my life too. It was hard and still is. And of course, I am still the bad guy and in the wrong. It can't be them or their fault. But what kind of woman or wife would I be if I just let them talk smack about my marriage? They'd would want their spouse to do the same thing I did if they were married. But of course, that doesn't matter.

Two people I truly care about are gone from my life. And as wonderful as everything else is going, my heart aches due to these loses. It will take time to heal.

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