huh

Friends. I have many many good friends. I love them each dearly. But I have been made painfully aware that one person I called friend is in no such way that at all. Their actions over the several months would suggest otherwise. Oh....they can play a good game. I give them that.

I'm tired of being the punching bag they use when they get pissed off about something. Sometimes, the blame lies within. Sometimes it's YOUR decisions, YOUR choices that create what you hate most. Yes...this statement is toward them, but I can really draw from it too.

I made the decision to move passed past hurts. I loved this person. I cared. I see now that it was one way. I was never truly seen as a friend to them. What was I to them? I may never know.

I am neither stupid nor blind. I know how women are. Kinda why I always got along better with men all my life I suppose.

A part of me is beyond livid tonight. Livid at the audacity said person has to blame me for THEIR mistake. Livid that I was stupid enough to care about them. Livid I even find myself in such a situation at this age in life.

*sigh* To continue to be upset is to continue to care. I refuse to do that. I'm done. I do not have time in my life such drama. Life is too short to waste. People always show their true colors. I tend to give the benefit of the doubt. We all make mistakes. Shoot. None of us is perfect. We have all fallen short.... But in the end, a person's true colors always show through.

To this person: I am not sure why you pretended to be a friend to me. I truly thought of you as one. I understand your hurt and anger. But in the end, it all came back to the choices YOU made to begin with. But you will probably never see that. And for the record, I was pissed too. Make no mistake about it. But, I forgave b/c I cared about you. I will NEVER make that mistake again. I promise. I'm done with you.

It is what it is. Life moves on and so must I.