Thursday, February 17, 2011


Stress? What's that? LOL

I have lost two people I considered very close to me in the past two weeks. My husband and I are trying to save up and buy a house. We don't agree on what we want. My kids and husband ... one of them has been sick for the past 4 weeks!! My kids are finally healed and now he's sick.

And then...then there is someone close to me right now with a health scare. And it's scaring me to death. They don't want others to know, so I can't reveal who it is. But I'm so frightened. I don't want them to know though. I broke down in tears tonight at the kitchen sink. They HAVE to be okay. I can't lose them. I can't.

I need to cry. I need to scream. I need to get drunk. I need a hug. I need...... Damn...I wish I knew. I need a break from stress. But I can handle it. I just need to be strong until more info is found out.

The stress of buying a house is tough on all couples. Losing a friend is hard. Losing two is twice as hard. And all I can do now is worry about the possibility that I may lose this person too. I know I'm jumping the gun until results get in. But....I can't lose them. Not now. Not ever. There are very few people in my life I trust with my life. I trust with my secrets. Very few people that I can honestly say that there aren't enough words in the English language to put down how I feel about them. This person with the health scare is one of those people.

I feel like I'm closing to a breaking a point. Or at least I did until I started typing this. Now, now I feel....stronger. Less scared, more ready to kick butt. I will do whatever I have to, to not lose another person in my life. I WILL BE STRONG!!!

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