Friday, February 18, 2011

Running Tab......tid bits

Ok, day before yesterday I woke up singing the chorus to a song. Literally. The Chorus went:

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Today I wake up and take a shower and find myself singing the song in my last blog. I bolded the parts that really stuck in my head.
(These are the parts:
Could be!

Who knows?
There's something due any day;
I will know right away,
Soon as it shows.

I got a feeling there's a miracle due,
Gonna come true,
Coming to me!

Could it be? Yes, it could.
Something's coming, something good,
If I can wait!

Something's coming, don't know when, but it's soon)

Then today my friend posts :
"Many of the things that seem impossible now will become realities tomorrow." - Walter Elias Disney
Of course I re-posted it. =)

I am so afraid to think that these are "signs" or "messages". I have dealt with too much disappointment in the past...year and half... I just can't be let down in such a big way again.

We are trying to get a new home. We are looking a building our own home, as well as looking at houses on the market, short sales, and foreclosures. We are keeping all our options open right now.

The house we'd love to We really liked it. And so did the girls. There are some risks, but the more I look into things, I realize that even a deal on an older home at the same price would cost more b/c they have all been appraised over $200k and that tax value adds to the escrow of the payment. (Did I even word that right?) And with an older home, you have things that are going to need to be fixed or replaced sooner rather than later (windows, doors, roof, carpet, appliances, ect. depending on the age). A brand new home comes with a warranty that covers this crap for a little a while. It's one less worry. Plus, the payment is less on the same amount b/c the tax value is different. Add to that a home that NO ONE has ever lived in but you... It is very enticing.

So many people have so many opinions on all this. they give me a headache.

In the end, a part of me wants to believe that all these are signs and messages to me. That all this will somehow work out and will have a big, beautiful new home. But I keep squashing that. I keep reminding myself that we will most likely end up with an older home, a smaller home, that needs some work. That has always been the way our luck has fallen with things. The only time I think I ever owned anything was car. It was totaled in less than a year (not my fault). I would love for our "luck" to finally be changing!!! But....I can't hold on to that hope. I just can't afford to be that disappointed if it doesn't happen.

We're going out to talk to the woman about building a house on Sunday. We'll see what kind of numbers we walk away with. But that being said...who knows if those same prices will still hold up in April when we become available for financing. I expect to walk away disappointed. I'm trying to prepare myself now.

I'm so afraid we're gonna get screwed over in this whole house buying thing. I'm afraid we're going to settle for something we're aren't real happy with.

I started this blog to talk about all the little "tid-bits" that are popping up in my life. The songs, the quotes, ect. I think it will be neat to keep track of them. I didn't mean to go off on a tear about my fears. But I had to explain perhaps why these tidbits might be a part of my life. Who knows. Maybe I am reading to much into things. Maybe. The only way to find out is keep this log of it all. So here we go!! 2/18/11

2/19/11: Tonight I got this from a friend online...on FB actually: It is Psalm 31:24 ~ Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.

He is speaking!

2/20/11: There is no storm too big that isn't followed by a rainbow (The night that we went through believing for a while we weren't going to able to get a home at all for another year. It devastated us on so many levels. But it made Wes realize what he liked and wanted.)on FB by a friend

2/21/11: License Plate today: HVNOFEAR (have no fear)

2/22/11: Decided to step out in faith believe in this. As soon as I did, I saw this immediately following:
Trust Crowds Out Worry: Commit your way to the Lord...and He shall bring it to pass. Psalm 37:5

2/23/11: "good things come to those who wait" This is what suddenly went through my mind while my MIL and I talked today by phone.

2/24/11: Checked my FB first thing this a.m. Usually I do the news first, then email, then FB. This is what awaited me on my news feed: "Be not afraid, only believe...." Mark 5:36 And was from the radio station NEW LIFE 91.9.

I decided to walk in faith on the 22 and then on the 23 I did an about face when faced with an obstacle. Not sure if that was a firey dart to test my faith, or a dose of reality. I know where I stand. I know that despite what we think we want, the Lord knows what's best. And I'm ok with that.

Last night, my darling husband started to trying to figure out the new offer and banging out numbers on a scrap sheet of paper, or so he thought. He flipped it over and it ended up being a receipt for jeans I had bought online. The word in the middle of the paper: MILAN. Apparently a type of jean I bought and it's also the model house we are trying for. What are the odds?

3/2/11 continued: in another blog entry I put this but thought it deserved to be here too. The place we are looking at building had all construction stopped and was abandoned for about 2 years (maybe a little more). I called my hubby out of the blue and asked if he had heard anything about this place recently. He chuckled and said he was about to call and ask me the same thing. Odd huh?
Then I research it online and found out they JUST re-opened!! LITERALLY!! We were one of the very first people to show up over there. And as of now, that we know of, they have been re-opened about a month (the week we checked into it!) and no offers have been put in yet.

How do 2 people think of the same abandon place, on the same the day if that is not God? Let alone, one that JUST re-opened and NO ONE knew about it! We have not driven by the place in over two years! There are no signs anywhere. So it's not like it's a constant reminder. It was literally out of the blue. A God thought perhaps?

3/10/11: Okay. We have been through, you have the house, you don't, you do, and then you don't. And now, a ray of hope. Yesterday we thought we would picking out colors for the new home. NOPE. Waiting to see if God move's. It was a very hard day yesterday. Then on one of the shows I watch they kept talking about going to Milan (the name of the model house we are building is Milan). It felt like salt in a wound. I didn't think too much of it. Then at bedtime, I posted a GN to FB about the same time a friend posted something that I have NO idea what it meant. Here it is, can you guess what stood out first thing to me?

"And so my beloved #ACMilan fails to advance in the UEFA Champions League. Better luck next time, #rossoneri!"

It was posted right below my post. MILAN stood out immediately.

Maybe more signs to have faith? Maybe not. But I CHOOSE to have faith.

4/1/11 APril Fools. I have standing in faith and trying to fight the fear of a rejection letter in the mail today. Imagine my relief when there wasn't one in there. lol Anyway, I have been struggling some and really trying to stay in peace in Lord.
I was picking up my den and under my table was a church bulletin from Nov 1/2 2008, 2008. On the very front is the word: BLUEPRINTS stamped on blueprints. lol It mus have fallen out of my bible. =D God is good.


  1. If I had the choice I would go with a newly built house. I just wish I had an option to choose.

    I will just have to live through you! :D

  2. When we're all settled in...wherever it may'll have to come over!