Devastation

Devastation has just hit my family, and I'm completely numb now. All I can do is think of my mom and her sisters right now.

I don't know if I'm numb from the news or from not sleeping in about a week coupled with some stressful situations in my home right now. I think maybe both. Maybe denial? No, not denial. I know it's true, I just don't want to believe it.

I have just cried my eyes out several times already today. I'm researching what I can. I am not liking what I find.

We still have so many questions. We probably have until next week or the week after before they are all answered.

He is a good man. He has lived a good life. If it's between cancer and Alzheimer's, I suppose cancer is the better way to go.

I hope he knows, somewhere down deep, how much he is loved and adored.

Our family has a rocky road ahead. I hate this. First my Dad, then Tommy, then Chris. We knew time was not in our favor with him, but this is heart wrenching. I love him so much!!

One online article I read said the average life span after diagnosis is 8 months. Technically we have no diagnosis yet. The dr. is pretty sure, but wants to run all the test and get the right professionals involved.

I'm scared. For him. For my Grandmother. For my mom and her sisters. For me. For my family.

My eyes hurt from the tears this evening. God, please be with my family right now. We need you.

Again, we find ourselves sitting, waiting for answers that will change our lives.