What now

I'm so frustrated. I sit here, in tears, and have NO idea what to do now.

The money is gone. GONE. My husband's job did what it likes to do, and cut his pay again. We lost $1000 a month. After taxes, like $800. That is the money our family of 5 lived off of a month.

Groceries, gas, school lunches, dr. visits, and medication for 2 of my 3 kids that they have to take regularly. Some went to finish bills, the rest we lived off of. Now it's gone. I am no longer paying bills of any kind. All I pay is the rent. I have to go through and now pick and choose what bills to pay and what not to pay so I can afford some groceries and diapers.

I'm thinking of selling my wedding rings. I know they aren't worth much, but between my engagement ring and wedding ring I may be able to supplement something. My husband is gonna kill me. But I just don't know what else to do. And he just doesn't get it.

I'm not saying I'm out doing this, or gonna do this....I'm NOT...but....

I can say I understand prostitution now. It's a lot of money for so little work. And when you have 3 little mouths to feed and are desperate....

Like I said...I am NOT doing that nor will I ever. It goes against all my beliefs. Against who I am. Against my love and respect for my family, my husband, my marriage, and God. I just understand how someone could get into it.

I am trying not to panic. THANK GOD I already bought Christmas for my kids. It's not much, but at least they'll have one.

We have always lived paycheck to paycheck. There has never been enough to really save so we can fall back on it. This sucks.

I'm scared. So scared. I don't know how we're gonna make it until the end of year, let alone til about March. (that tends to be when his boss decides to give the missing money in each pay period back to us).

I just needed to let this all out. I'm so thankful for this place. No one really knows it's here. And who out there in cyber world is gonna care or read this. I like having a place to come and vent my frustrations and fears like this. A place where no one knows me.

I am a mother to 3 girls. 2 in Elementary school, and bean who is 1. I have looked into jobs. But paying for after school care for the first two and then daycare for Bean... I'm just working to pay for all the childcare. So how is that a help?

I'm lost. I'm scared. I have no answers and there is no one to help. I need a miracle.

But, I can say, no matter what happens, I will NOT let it tear my family apart. We will get through this.....together. One way or another.