Today has been yet another one of those days that you can add to the list of days that really sucked this year so far. I have had a lot of those. More than usual. More than I want. More than anyone would want. But, so many others out there have it so much worse than I do. If these are my problems, I should be thankful they aren't worse. For example:
I got super upset when something we really wanted and thought was an answer to so many prayers of ours didn't work out for us not long ago. But they say everything happens for reason (btw, don't tell this to a person who has been devastated by something. It only makes them want to smack you. Wait until they are really in a place to hear it). A friend of mine told me this not long ago (it was after the initial shock of the devastation, so she was good. lol). I could not for the life me understand what that reason could be. And it didn't seem as if the Lord was going to answer me about it either. I felt like nothing was going to be good enough anyway. Boy was I was wrong. And I have to tell you, I actually cried today at how selfish I was about it all and how foolishly I reacted to it. I felt so badly about it.
You see, my husband got a phone call here at home today from a total stranger, while he was out doing our taxes. She was given his name as a contact to help with a fund raiser for little boy that's 2 1/2 years old and is dying from brain cancer. The little boy's name is Carter. And I have been following him on both Facebook and on his Caring Bridge page. He is a local boy. And what he and his family have gone through the past 6 months since getting his diagnosis have astounded me. His mother's faith is inspiring!! I cry every time I read an update just about.
Little Carter doesn't have much time left. In fact, they thought they were going to lose him about a week ago. But he's still here. Still fighting. He is so brave and strong. Such a fighter. He's coming home soon. And the community is having a fund raiser for him and his family. They want it to be full of things Carter likes.
I had no idea this was going on, as Carter's family doesn't know. So it's not in the updates. When the phone call came today for husband about this fundraiser, I was floored! My husband would not have had a clue about anything, as I have not told him about Carter and he is too busy working to follow it. But I knew. I knew his story. I had been following it, shedding tears and offering up prayers along the way. So it was good that my husband wasn't home to get the call. God works in mysterious ways!
I got all information I could from the caller. When my hubby got home I got to explain to him about this brave little boy the age of our youngest daughter. Then I told him about the phone call. He got right to work making calls with contacts and seeing what he could do help. I'm not sure he would have been in a position to do that had the other path worked out. If this is the reason we are on the same old path, I can handle this. This is worth it. This is worth every heartache we have ever had on this path if it helps out Carter and his family.
It's things like this that get me thinking. Life is going to be hard. And we are going to go through periods of rough times. But my rough time is not having to make funeral arrangements for my dying toddler. My rough time is not having to watch as my child goes through hell and all I can do is hold their hand and pray for miracle. It really gives you perspective.
Life may not be all wonderful right now, but it is going to get better. And I get to decide if I want to keep looking at what is wrong and letting it get me down, or if I want to look out into the horizon at the hope of tomorrow and every day after that. I get to decide on how much I let things get to me. It's my choice. I can choose to stay miserable or I can choose to try and be more positive. If energy begets energy, then I want the energy I'm putting out into my life to be positive energy and not negative. I surely don't want a double dose of that!
No matter what problems I am facing right now (whether physical, emotional, financial, whatever), I know that one day things will change and get better. I have faith in that. And if I have faith in that, then why stay so glum? I have family I love and whom love me. I have friends I adore. I have a beautiful home. And we pay our bills, have food in the kitchen, and clothes on our backs. We have vehicles, and a dog. We are all relatively healthy. My husband has had the same job for going on 12 years. We have health insurance. So if we have issues of any kind, I have to keep perspective. In the end, I have it pretty good. And I shouldn't take that for granted. None of us should. It's okay to have a bad day or rough period. But we can't let it consume us.
Yup. Things are going to get better. I just know it. ;-)