Overwhelmed.

I can't believe we got a FREE trip to Atlantis! I have gone from just straight crying, to finally being at a point where the tears come and go.

This is the kind of thing I read about online or on a friend's fb page. This is the kinda thing my BFF would call and tell me about and I would rejoice and be happy for her!

I feel like all my life, I have lived struggling. We watched my mom struggle to raise 3 girls on her own after my father's death. We struggled with the deaths of many friends and 2 cousins.

My husband and I struggled in our marriage. Last year we hit bottom. I couldn't wait to see 2010 go. We have lived through a bankruptcy, financial issues, and losing a home, on top of our already marital issues. We have struggled with a sick girl (she tends to get sick more often and stay sick longer than most kids. Her Asthma doesn't help. She is going to be 6 and has had 4 hospital stays I think and countless ER visits), and a surprise pregnancy in the midst of a bankruptcy and trying to move.

He and I have pasts where we have had our own struggles. Personal ones. And there have been times we have struggled with faith.

Life isn't bad. Don't get me wrong. We are VERY happy now! Struggles or not, we have found a place of joy and happiness and contentment. We've learned how to be partners to and for each other. And it's something we continue to learn about and expand on.

But it feels as if we have struggled more than anything in this life. We are trying to build a house (we "should" know by next Friday if we have final approval on the financing). And during the whole process up until recently, I have said it seemed to good to be true. That good things like this house just don't happen to us. Our good news is him getting a bonus so we can pay the bills AND do something fun with or for the kids. I recently just took them to the zoo on the last bonus. Practical things. Those are our "good" things. Not nice houses. And certainly not free trips to the Bahamas! At least, that was how thought for so long.

The past few months I have been really struggling with receiving blessings. People have commented that we deserve this trip. I don't think so. I don't think we deserve anything. We have never done a great thing to deserve such a lavish blessing. But then again, I have always been of the thinking that we don't really deserve anything really good. It was always for others, but not for me. And I truly rejoice for those whom these things happen too. But for this to happen to us? To me?

I am in awe!! I am in utter awe!! To say we have longed for a trip there for years and years and years, is an understatement. To say we have longed for a great honeymoon is also a gross understatement. And now the two have become one, and are FREE!! Air fare, food, room, gratuities, FREE!!! This has been another desire of ours and now it's here. And there are just no words to describe this feeling. No words to truly describe what this is and what this means to us. Talk about a blessing!!

The only thing we needed to pay for was the passports. Which I freaked out about because we need to save some more money up for closing (I am believing for this house) which is in July. Well, apparently God had other plans there too. A very generous person has come forward to cover the costs of our passports!!! Here come the tears again. =')

I don't think I have ever been so thankful and so in shock (in a good way) ever before in my life!

I am overwhelmed by the all the people who made this happen and their kindness and their generosity. I am overwhelmed by God's goodness!!

The tears are flowing again, but I must say, I'd rather cry for reasons like this than any other. I am so ... very...Thankful.