Sad

I'm sitting here tonight sad.

I want so bad to run to him, hug him tight, and tell him how much I love him. But I know I would be tears. I don't think he needs that. I don't think it would do anyone a bit of good. I wonder if he knows how much I have loved and continue to love him.

The whole situation makes me upset. I cannot imagine the impact this has on the rest of my family. ='(

My family has learned, with the early deaths of my dad, and two cousins in their teens; that you are never guaranteed a tomorrow. That life has a way of throwing wrenches in your plans. That life is fragile, precious. And you need to make the most of every moment.

I wonder if my husband and kids know just how much the mean to me. I wonder if my other family members each know how much I love them. Do my friends know?

With certain events going on in my family right now, it has brought all this up to surface. What saddens me most is that if the Alzheimer's get's him first, he will leave this earth not remembering any of us who loved him and how much he was adored and loved. This grieves my heart immensely. I pray for him to go in his sleep, before this can happen. Whether it's the cancer, a heart attack, a stroke, I don't care. Let him leave this world peacefully knowing he is loved.

Tonight I am sad. I feel like a kindergartner saying that. But it's how I feel.