It's the morning of the last day of the year. And here I sit, reflecting back on the year. Most people are making New Year's Resolutions. Like:
Live Healthier (and all that it implies)
More Random Acts of Kindness
Find a church/Attend Church
Find a new house, one we call HOME
Yes, these are my resolutions for the upcoming year. But they aren't all of them. I have one very important one: FIND ME AGAIN.
All year it seems I have waited with baited breath for 2010 to end, 2011 to start. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. I started 2010 out on the wrong foot I think, now that I look back at it.
There are MANY things about 2010 I wish I could forget. Many things I wish I had done differently or not at all. Who had I become this past year? Someone I wasn't use too, that's for sure. I miss the sensible, grown-up me. The one who was a Mommy before anything else.
I lost myself in 2010. I plan on finding Me again in 2011.
2011 wasn't a total loss. I did make some amazing new friends! People I just adore!
I learned somethings about myself in this past year. Things I'm glad to have learned, and things that were pretty hard to swallow. But I think knowing both of these things can only help me in the coming year.
For the most part, I wish I could forget 2010. Just erase it from ever existing. But I know that can't happen. And I know doing that would also erase the few good things that did come from it.
But since this is one wish that isn't worth dwelling on....
Yup. Here I sit. Thinking back over the year. It's been painful. I don't think I have ever been so excited to start a new year as I am today. I can't wait to say Goodbye to 2010. Auf Wiedersehen!! Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Last year, I remember being fearful of the New Year and what it might bring. This year, I am hopeful. Excited. I can't wait. I'm so excited!
Welcome 2011!!! I promise to make the best of it! I promise to find ME again. I promise to be a better wife. A better mother. A better sister and daughter. A better friend. A better woman.
The only person who can change me, is me. (with some help from the Lord hopefully)
So here's to 2011!! May it be all that I hope it will be.
EDITED TO ADD:
My prayer for the upcoming year comes from a song I just love:
So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?
To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up
I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone
Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone