Keep Singing

Another rainy day

I can't recall having sunshine on my face

All I feel is pain

All I wanna do is walk out of this place

But when I am stuck and I can't move

When I don't know what I should do

When I wonder if I'll ever make it through

I gotta keep singing

I gotta keep praising Your name

You're the one who's keeping my heart beating

I gotta keep singing

I gotta keep praising Your name

That's the only way that I'll find healing

Can I climb up in Your lap?

I don't wanna leave

Jesus, sing over me

I gotta keep singing

Can I climb up in Your lap?

I don't wanna leave

Jesus, sing over me

I gotta keep singing

Oh, You're everything I need

And I gotta keep singing

I wish I could take credit for that written above. But they are lyrics to song by Mercy Me titled "Keep Singing". I'll add the link after this post. You should hear it.

Maybe you have never hard to face any real adversity in your life. Maybe you will never know what it feels like to be stripped of strength and to sing these words/pray them in tears and frustration and defeat. But one day you will. That's life.

This song has been played, sung, and cried while praying it so many times. So many times I have cried on the floor a mess of tears to this song. No longer able to sing by the end. Just mouthing words as the tears flow. So many times I have felt... cleansed? better? at peace maybe? After crying and praying with this song. It's like my way to let it out sometimes. And I feel Him holding me. Telling me, whispering...."it's okay. you're not alone. I'm here."

As a child, when I was upset, my dad would hold me and rock. And sometimes, as crazy as it sounds, I feel the Lord holding me. Not in a physical way, but a spiritual one. It's good to know I'm not alone. It's good to feel that comfort and to know someone one is there saying "It's going to be okay. One way or the other. I'm here for you."

It's usually pretty bad for me when I have this song on. It's my way of letting out all my emotions I have kept bottled up. It's my way of reaching out to God when I'm lost in pain. It's a good reminder to me.

Have you ever climbed up in your parent's lap, in tears and pain? To have them hold you and bring you that comfort? I can still have that when I "climb up in His lap" by praising Him, even when I hurt and don't understand. Like with my Granddad's illness. Life is cruel sometimes. That's just life. The bible actually promises us we'll have trials and tribulations. It's not God's fault. He doesn't do it to us. This is what happened when Adam and Eve ate that damned apple. It's just life. And although He promises us hard times, He also promises that we don't have to walk through it alone. He is there with us. Gathering every tear we shed.

Thank you, Father, for always being there for me. For loving me, even when I'm lost. Your love never fails. And I am forever grateful. Thank you for the reminders to turn toward to You, and not away, when life is a struggle. I surely don't want to do this alone. Thank You for Your grace. Thank You for your strength. Because even at my weakest, it's because of Your help I'm able to go on. I can't do this on my own.

IJN, Amen.