I keep a hand written journal. I started back in March, a month into our process of building this home. It's been a while since I have blogged here, so I thought I would share my entry from last night.
---------------------------
How did I get here? How did I get to this point?
Tonight, sitting on the couch, holding hands with my husband, I had this . . . urge?. . . feeling?. I wanted to tell him that soon (50 days or so) we'd be in our new home, and how I couldn't wait. I can't really explain it, but I'll try.
I wasn't wishful thinking. It was if it had already been done and determined. All day I have been excited and anticipating this coming week. I have been waiting expectantly for an approval, a final approval, on our mortgage loan. But as important as that in itself is, tonight was different. It was if I already knew. As if I had already gotten the answer. As if it had already been done. No wishful thinking. No hoping. No maybe, or if it's God's will. It was done. It was as if it were final. That's the best I can try to explain it. It was...different, unlike anything I've ever known.
How did I get here? Three (maybe three and half) months ago, we set out on this journey to get a new home. We faced stumbling block after stumbling block. No one seemed to believe this could happen, even those in my own family. Some started out with more faith than they have now. We were told "NO" so many times. But we never gave up hope.
Then the day came we were not only told "NO!", but we were told it just wasn't going to happen at all. Basically we were told it would take a miracle and to just give up for a while (another year or two). The world had told us "NO!".
I remember thinking we'd lost the house. My husband was crushed. I even wrote about that night in this very journal. It was gone, and yet I was surprisingly okay. I was more worried about my husband and kids. I mean I was upset, but not destroyed. I remember turning to the Lord and trusting Him to take care of us. I remember the relief (and dare I say joy) I felt in the fact that we may be losing (or have lost) a big dream, but that I wasn't turning away from God, but instead I leaned on Him and trusted Him to see us through. That was a HUGE step for me.
So many times I prayed for this and over this home for us (some of the time on the lot itself). So many times I told Him I would trust Him and follow Him and love Him, NO MATTER WHAT!. Even if we lost the house. And now, here we were, being told "NO" for the 4th time, and also being told to give it up. It wasn't going to happen for us, at least not now. We were told our dream was over, gone. And here I was, keeping true to my word to trust in Him. And it wasn't forced or hard. I wanted too, and in the end it brought me peace and comfort.
the very next day we got a pre-approval from another bank. And it's been a journey of waiting and patience ever since. And it hasn't been easy, as so many of my entries show. I struggled.
And tonight, I sat here feeling these things. Today, and for several days, I have been in this place of waiting expectantly. How did I get here?
How did I go from a hope and prayer, to the world telling us no and loved ones losing faith and being unbelieving, to this place of faith and certainity I feel tonight?
it's been a long 3/3 1/2 months. It's been quite a journey. But to be where I am right now (for the 1st time in my life), it has been worth it.
I have gone from a dream, to a hope, to the death of the dream, to resurrected hope, to standing in a place of faith. And standing firmer than I ever have.
I know my journey is just beginning. But perhaps . . . Maybe . . . I have begun to build a foundation of my own to stand on. A foundation rich in faith. Let the building and journey continue . . .
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
It's that time again...
What a day. Been a looong hard one. Complete with back talk, lies, disobedience, broken dishes, sick kids ..... I'm stopping here. A friend made a comment on my fb page and I am going to try something I did once a few months ago. Yes today was MISERABLE...HORRIBLE. But, I am going to try to focus on some of the good things about today. Before I just focus on my blessings in general. This time I will try to find the good in this day. Trying to change my focus.
1. I woke up. That's pretty big. lol
2. Hubby made it home from work safe and sound
3. I made killer banana bread today. PERFECT! MMMM
4. They did more work on the house. Bottom level completely framed. =)
5. No cicadas landed on me today. lol
6. The dog didn't puke today. Thank goodness he's over whatever he had
7. I made two really good meals today...lunch was awesome and so was dinner.
8. My hubby allowed me to "run away" for about an hour to get away from the madness of the day and just pray and center. He's the best.
9. My kids love me. We may have it rough all around today, but they went to bed knowing I loved them and me knowing they love me. =)
10. My children understood each of their various punishments today and agreed they deserved them.
11. My house smelled like fresh banana bread today. That is always a good thing.
12. I didn't have a headache today!! YIPEE!!
13. I didn't face my challenges today alone. I had help from HIM. Every time I prayed, He answered. Thank you Lord. You are good. =) You gave me patience when I need it most and calmed me when I was upset. And when I felt my lost alone, you were there. Thank you.
14. I cleaned out a cabinet that needed it and through out some stuff. PROGRESS!
15. Hot shower!! I am about to take a nice long hot shower and wash the day away. lol
16. The best thing about this day, is that it's about over. And that tomorrow is NOT today. Tomorrow is a new day. =)
1. I woke up. That's pretty big. lol
2. Hubby made it home from work safe and sound
3. I made killer banana bread today. PERFECT! MMMM
4. They did more work on the house. Bottom level completely framed. =)
5. No cicadas landed on me today. lol
6. The dog didn't puke today. Thank goodness he's over whatever he had
7. I made two really good meals today...lunch was awesome and so was dinner.
8. My hubby allowed me to "run away" for about an hour to get away from the madness of the day and just pray and center. He's the best.
9. My kids love me. We may have it rough all around today, but they went to bed knowing I loved them and me knowing they love me. =)
10. My children understood each of their various punishments today and agreed they deserved them.
11. My house smelled like fresh banana bread today. That is always a good thing.
12. I didn't have a headache today!! YIPEE!!
13. I didn't face my challenges today alone. I had help from HIM. Every time I prayed, He answered. Thank you Lord. You are good. =) You gave me patience when I need it most and calmed me when I was upset. And when I felt my lost alone, you were there. Thank you.
14. I cleaned out a cabinet that needed it and through out some stuff. PROGRESS!
15. Hot shower!! I am about to take a nice long hot shower and wash the day away. lol
16. The best thing about this day, is that it's about over. And that tomorrow is NOT today. Tomorrow is a new day. =)
Monday, May 16, 2011
needed this one
"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."
~ Unknown
~ Unknown
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Cracking again
I think I will be enjoying a drink or two tonight. I just can't take this anymore.
In the past 2 1/2 months:
~ I have learned my Grandfather who has Alzheimer's also has lung cancer.
~ His Alzheimer's had some very scary moments that caused the whole family stress and worry.
~ He is in the ICU tonight due to complications from a previous procedure. He had to have a blood transfusion and my mom is up there tonight with him.
~ I have all the stress of trying to pack up this house
~ The stress of trying to buy/build this new house (do you know how many times we heard banks say, "yes we can do it. wait..maybe...um. no." Do you know how stressful that it is. We are still waiting for final approval from this one.)
~ My husband's grandfather died
~ Financial stress b/c we can't do much b/c we are trying to get this house. We want to make sure we have enough for closing, and blinds and such for the house.
And now I'm trying to plan a combined birthday for my girls. I won't be in the country for one of their birthdays. And since they are only 2 weeks apart, it just makes sense to have one party (they will be 6 and 2). But I can't afford to rent a place out. I need a place to contain my wild toddler. And my house is not big enough and we will be in the processes of packing it up. We thought we had a place to have it, but due to the time the party has to be, it fell through. I just don't know what to do. My girl cried.
What kind of parent am I? My eldest's birthday was cancelled due to the stomach bug hitting. And now I may not be able to have parties for my other two as well. My house will not hold 35 people. It's too small and cramped. And with no spare money to rent anything.... What do I do?
I feel like a failure. I feel like I just keep letting them down. I just don't know how to plan this party any more. I can't take all the stress in my life and I am cracking at the seems this week.
I just feel like I can't do anything right.
I feel like a failure.
And we've calmed our girl down by telling her we'd figure something out, but I honestly have NO idea what that will be. I am lost. She's already upset she is not having her party where she wanted, but to have no party?
God help me. I don't know how much more I can take.
In the past 2 1/2 months:
~ I have learned my Grandfather who has Alzheimer's also has lung cancer.
~ His Alzheimer's had some very scary moments that caused the whole family stress and worry.
~ He is in the ICU tonight due to complications from a previous procedure. He had to have a blood transfusion and my mom is up there tonight with him.
~ I have all the stress of trying to pack up this house
~ The stress of trying to buy/build this new house (do you know how many times we heard banks say, "yes we can do it. wait..maybe...um. no." Do you know how stressful that it is. We are still waiting for final approval from this one.)
~ My husband's grandfather died
~ Financial stress b/c we can't do much b/c we are trying to get this house. We want to make sure we have enough for closing, and blinds and such for the house.
And now I'm trying to plan a combined birthday for my girls. I won't be in the country for one of their birthdays. And since they are only 2 weeks apart, it just makes sense to have one party (they will be 6 and 2). But I can't afford to rent a place out. I need a place to contain my wild toddler. And my house is not big enough and we will be in the processes of packing it up. We thought we had a place to have it, but due to the time the party has to be, it fell through. I just don't know what to do. My girl cried.
What kind of parent am I? My eldest's birthday was cancelled due to the stomach bug hitting. And now I may not be able to have parties for my other two as well. My house will not hold 35 people. It's too small and cramped. And with no spare money to rent anything.... What do I do?
I feel like a failure. I feel like I just keep letting them down. I just don't know how to plan this party any more. I can't take all the stress in my life and I am cracking at the seems this week.
I just feel like I can't do anything right.
I feel like a failure.
And we've calmed our girl down by telling her we'd figure something out, but I honestly have NO idea what that will be. I am lost. She's already upset she is not having her party where she wanted, but to have no party?
God help me. I don't know how much more I can take.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
INVISIBLE MOTHER
I saw this online today it really touched me. I just had share!!!
Invisible Mother.....
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'
Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible.. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
Some days I'm a crystal ball; 'Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?, What's for dinner?'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe.
I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devoured - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.
No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're gonna love it there...'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.
Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know... I just did.
The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.
To all the wonderful mothers out there!!
May God give you...
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer
Invisible Mother.....
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'
Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible.. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
Some days I'm a crystal ball; 'Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?, What's for dinner?'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe.
I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devoured - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.
No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're gonna love it there...'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.
Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know... I just did.
The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.
To all the wonderful mothers out there!!
May God give you...
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Overwhelmed.
I can't believe we got a FREE trip to Atlantis! I have gone from just straight crying, to finally being at a point where the tears come and go.
This is the kind of thing I read about online or on a friend's fb page. This is the kinda thing my BFF would call and tell me about and I would rejoice and be happy for her!
I feel like all my life, I have lived struggling. We watched my mom struggle to raise 3 girls on her own after my father's death. We struggled with the deaths of many friends and 2 cousins.
My husband and I struggled in our marriage. Last year we hit bottom. I couldn't wait to see 2010 go. We have lived through a bankruptcy, financial issues, and losing a home, on top of our already marital issues. We have struggled with a sick girl (she tends to get sick more often and stay sick longer than most kids. Her Asthma doesn't help. She is going to be 6 and has had 4 hospital stays I think and countless ER visits), and a surprise pregnancy in the midst of a bankruptcy and trying to move.
He and I have pasts where we have had our own struggles. Personal ones. And there have been times we have struggled with faith.
Life isn't bad. Don't get me wrong. We are VERY happy now! Struggles or not, we have found a place of joy and happiness and contentment. We've learned how to be partners to and for each other. And it's something we continue to learn about and expand on.
But it feels as if we have struggled more than anything in this life. We are trying to build a house (we "should" know by next Friday if we have final approval on the financing). And during the whole process up until recently, I have said it seemed to good to be true. That good things like this house just don't happen to us. Our good news is him getting a bonus so we can pay the bills AND do something fun with or for the kids. I recently just took them to the zoo on the last bonus. Practical things. Those are our "good" things. Not nice houses. And certainly not free trips to the Bahamas! At least, that was how thought for so long.
The past few months I have been really struggling with receiving blessings. People have commented that we deserve this trip. I don't think so. I don't think we deserve anything. We have never done a great thing to deserve such a lavish blessing. But then again, I have always been of the thinking that we don't really deserve anything really good. It was always for others, but not for me. And I truly rejoice for those whom these things happen too. But for this to happen to us? To me?
I am in awe!! I am in utter awe!! To say we have longed for a trip there for years and years and years, is an understatement. To say we have longed for a great honeymoon is also a gross understatement. And now the two have become one, and are FREE!! Air fare, food, room, gratuities, FREE!!! This has been another desire of ours and now it's here. And there are just no words to describe this feeling. No words to truly describe what this is and what this means to us. Talk about a blessing!!
The only thing we needed to pay for was the passports. Which I freaked out about because we need to save some more money up for closing (I am believing for this house) which is in July. Well, apparently God had other plans there too. A very generous person has come forward to cover the costs of our passports!!! Here come the tears again. =')
I don't think I have ever been so thankful and so in shock (in a good way) ever before in my life!
I am overwhelmed by the all the people who made this happen and their kindness and their generosity. I am overwhelmed by God's goodness!!
The tears are flowing again, but I must say, I'd rather cry for reasons like this than any other. I am so ... very...Thankful.
This is the kind of thing I read about online or on a friend's fb page. This is the kinda thing my BFF would call and tell me about and I would rejoice and be happy for her!
I feel like all my life, I have lived struggling. We watched my mom struggle to raise 3 girls on her own after my father's death. We struggled with the deaths of many friends and 2 cousins.
My husband and I struggled in our marriage. Last year we hit bottom. I couldn't wait to see 2010 go. We have lived through a bankruptcy, financial issues, and losing a home, on top of our already marital issues. We have struggled with a sick girl (she tends to get sick more often and stay sick longer than most kids. Her Asthma doesn't help. She is going to be 6 and has had 4 hospital stays I think and countless ER visits), and a surprise pregnancy in the midst of a bankruptcy and trying to move.
He and I have pasts where we have had our own struggles. Personal ones. And there have been times we have struggled with faith.
Life isn't bad. Don't get me wrong. We are VERY happy now! Struggles or not, we have found a place of joy and happiness and contentment. We've learned how to be partners to and for each other. And it's something we continue to learn about and expand on.
But it feels as if we have struggled more than anything in this life. We are trying to build a house (we "should" know by next Friday if we have final approval on the financing). And during the whole process up until recently, I have said it seemed to good to be true. That good things like this house just don't happen to us. Our good news is him getting a bonus so we can pay the bills AND do something fun with or for the kids. I recently just took them to the zoo on the last bonus. Practical things. Those are our "good" things. Not nice houses. And certainly not free trips to the Bahamas! At least, that was how thought for so long.
The past few months I have been really struggling with receiving blessings. People have commented that we deserve this trip. I don't think so. I don't think we deserve anything. We have never done a great thing to deserve such a lavish blessing. But then again, I have always been of the thinking that we don't really deserve anything really good. It was always for others, but not for me. And I truly rejoice for those whom these things happen too. But for this to happen to us? To me?
I am in awe!! I am in utter awe!! To say we have longed for a trip there for years and years and years, is an understatement. To say we have longed for a great honeymoon is also a gross understatement. And now the two have become one, and are FREE!! Air fare, food, room, gratuities, FREE!!! This has been another desire of ours and now it's here. And there are just no words to describe this feeling. No words to truly describe what this is and what this means to us. Talk about a blessing!!
The only thing we needed to pay for was the passports. Which I freaked out about because we need to save some more money up for closing (I am believing for this house) which is in July. Well, apparently God had other plans there too. A very generous person has come forward to cover the costs of our passports!!! Here come the tears again. =')
I don't think I have ever been so thankful and so in shock (in a good way) ever before in my life!
I am overwhelmed by the all the people who made this happen and their kindness and their generosity. I am overwhelmed by God's goodness!!
The tears are flowing again, but I must say, I'd rather cry for reasons like this than any other. I am so ... very...Thankful.
You aren't going to believe this!!! God is GREAT!!!
My husband just came for lunch. He said he had bad news, worse news, and good news.
Bad news: He wasn't going to be home for dinner
Worse news: We wouldn't be here on the actual day of our youngest's 2nd birthday
Why?
GREAT NEWS: He just won an all expenses paid trip for he and I to Atlantis in the Bahamas! No! THIS IS NOT A JOKE!!
He won it through work!! Actually he's dealership won it, and they chose to give it to him. I am so overwhelmed right now!!
We have to get some passports ASAP!! We leave toward the end of June!!
I can't stop crying!!
A Honeymoon!! A real honeymoon!!!
My husband and I got married in October of '99. We paid for it all. His parents did pay for the rehearsal dinner, but everything else fell on us to pay. And it wasn't cheap. We had very little left for a honeymoon. So in October, we took $800 and went to Myrtle Beach, SC. It was cold. It was empty and a lot of places were closed.
And now...we get a FREE trip to the ONE place I have wanted to go for years and years and years! And...NO KIDS!!! My sister, mom, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law are all stepping in to help us by watching them so we can take this incredible trip of a lifetime!
I can't believe this!!!! You guys have NO idea how badly I have wanted this. I check it out online every year. I have prayed, and hoped, and.... I never, NEVER really thought we would be able to go. It's so expensive.
And now...We're going. FOR FREE!!!
God is good!!!
Forgive me Lord for all my doubts I have ever had.
Bad news: He wasn't going to be home for dinner
Worse news: We wouldn't be here on the actual day of our youngest's 2nd birthday
Why?
GREAT NEWS: He just won an all expenses paid trip for he and I to Atlantis in the Bahamas! No! THIS IS NOT A JOKE!!
He won it through work!! Actually he's dealership won it, and they chose to give it to him. I am so overwhelmed right now!!
We have to get some passports ASAP!! We leave toward the end of June!!
I can't stop crying!!
A Honeymoon!! A real honeymoon!!!
My husband and I got married in October of '99. We paid for it all. His parents did pay for the rehearsal dinner, but everything else fell on us to pay. And it wasn't cheap. We had very little left for a honeymoon. So in October, we took $800 and went to Myrtle Beach, SC. It was cold. It was empty and a lot of places were closed.
And now...we get a FREE trip to the ONE place I have wanted to go for years and years and years! And...NO KIDS!!! My sister, mom, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law are all stepping in to help us by watching them so we can take this incredible trip of a lifetime!
I can't believe this!!!! You guys have NO idea how badly I have wanted this. I check it out online every year. I have prayed, and hoped, and.... I never, NEVER really thought we would be able to go. It's so expensive.
And now...We're going. FOR FREE!!!
God is good!!!
Forgive me Lord for all my doubts I have ever had.
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