I write tonight with a very heavy heart.
One of my children has been bullied this year by someone she thought to be friend. It has caused her a lot of emotional turmoil.
Let me just say bullying is NOT okay. It damages people. It can ruin people's lives!
We have gone through all the proper channels. The offender was told to stay away from my daughter, no more contact. She was told that on Friday.
Today the bully continued to embarrass and harass my daughter. Both in class and on the bus. It quickly escalated to a violent act against my daughter.
I did what any mother would do.... I went straight up to the school and demanded answers and action. The school is going through protocol and I have every faith in them. However, after all that has happened we feel there is no other course of action but to press charges against this student. We have to keep our daughter safe, and we have to make sure this kind of behavior doesn't continue. Not against her, or anyone else.
But this post isn't about that really. It's about me needing a place to let out all my frustrations.
As any parent, I hurt for my daughter. Deeply. But a part of me hurts for this other child as well. Where does one learn to be hateful? My first thought, is home. What is going on in her life that makes her feel like being hurtful and hateful is okay? Where did she learn this? I am not saying it is her parent/parents' fault. I don't know her home life. But I am curious. Wouldn't you be?
Here is my confession: A part of me hurts for this girl, the bully. A part of me wants to just hug her, hold her, and tell her it'll all be okay. A part of me wants to invite her into my home weekly and be stable source of love and life for this girl. I want to be some kind of .... light? hope? I don't the know what the word is... positive influence!!!.... in her life. And it's upsetting me. Because how can I feel these things for the person that has caused so much hurt and trauma to my own daughter? I am sure the hateful comments about this are sure to come.
The truth is, I can't invite her into my home. I can't invite my daughter's tormenter into her safe place. I have to protect my daughter first and foremost! She has to come first, and does. But my heart still hurts and bleeds for this other girl as well.
The whole situation is just so sad to me. Two girls... broken in different ways. I am not sure anyone can understand how upsetting this all is to me. My daughter has been though hell and back. And she still has a long way to go. And I am just heartbroken for her. There are no words to describe the hurt. She is such a beautiful, bright, fun, loving, compassionate, smart, funny kid. She doesn't deserve this. No one does. It hurts to know that she has allowed someone the power to take away her self worth and confidence. It hurts to see her pain and what she is going through.
What is wrong with me that I want to keep my daughter safe and yet I hurt for this other kid as well? I don't know.
My daughter and I have a song that is really speaking to us right now (You know me! What is a blog post without a song? Music runs deep in my family). The song with lyrics is below. Come to find out...my daughter and I both are struggling with the "How dare she!? How could she?" and feeling bad for her. I am glad my daughter has that kind of heart.
So as crazy as this sounds.... We are going to pray for her. I still want this kid to know that actions have consequences, and what she is doing is not okay,and never will be. But that doesn't mean we can't lift her up in prayer, right?
So...we pray for her. And we pray for my daughter. And we hope for a better tomorrow......
"Losing"
I can't believe what she said
I can't believe what he did
Oh, don't they know it's wrong, yeah?
Don't they know it's wrong, yeah?
Maybe there's something I missed
But how could they treat me like this?
It's wearing out my heart
The way they disregard
This is love, this is hate...
We all have a choice to make
Oh, Father won't You forgive them?
They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losin'
Well it's only the dead that can live
But still I wrestle with this
To lose the pain that's mine
Seventy times seven times
'Cause Lord it doesn't feel right
For me to turn a blind eye
Though I guess it's not that much
When I think of what You've done.
This is love, this is hate...
We've got a choice to make
Oh, Father won't You forgive them?
They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losin'
Oh, no!
Why do we think that hate's gonna change their heart?
We're up in arms over wars that don't need to be fought
But pride won't let us lay our weapons on the ground
We build our bridges up but just to burn them down
We think pain is owed apologies and then it'll stop
But truth be told it doesn't matter if they're sorry or not
Freedom comes when we surrender to the sound
Of mercy and Your grace, Father, send Your angels down
[x2]
Oh, Father won't you forgive them?
They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losin'
Yeah, I feel like I've been losing
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losin'
I feel like I've been losin'
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losin'
Monday, October 28, 2013
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Who would have guessed?
Life has been.... peaceful lately. That's not say we haven't had life throw us some curve balls, we have. And it looks like we may be starring at a few more. But through all the junk life seems to have in store for us right now, I am still peaceful. More so than I ever have been.
Something has happened in my journey of life in 2013 and I am not sure when or where it occurred. Somewhere in the hell that began as this year, and now, there was a change. A huge change! A change in me and in my thinking on some pretty major things.
My relationship with my husband has changed. We went through hell and back this year. And now, we have something new... Peace. I have learned a lot about myself this year, and it's not even over yet.
Is there still stress? You betcha! But it's nice you can have a sense of peace in the middle of the storm.
And a prayer, a long time prayer, a 14 yr old prayer, got answered. I stopped pushing. I stopped complaining. I let go of bitterness. But I still prayed. And after all this time, it was finally answered. It took something we were afraid of happening to happen first. But when it did, there was really nothing to have feared. And in the end, it took what we feared to bring upon the answer to the prayer.
I wonder how many times in life we have let fear keep us from a promise or from an answer we have so desperately wanted or needed? And how many times were we afraid of something to only have to face it? And by then, it wasn't nearly as awful as we thought it could be. (most of the time)
Sometimes it takes facing what you fear most to get the outcome you most wanted.
Life is kinda funny like that.
I am still learning about fear and about all it strips away from us. But who would have guessed that our own fears, our own actions to make sure we wouldn't have to face our fear, is what held up the answer to my prayer? I was my own worst enemy. And all this time I blamed God. I wonder how many other times we blame Him for things, when if we would just "let go and let God" (trust in Him to see us through), things would be answered, or better, or different? This is definitely a lesson I need to remember.
I am so sorry Lord it took me so long to get to this point. I am so sorry for blaming You, when the whole time it was me, us. Help me to let go and trust You more. In Jesus's name, Amen.
Something has happened in my journey of life in 2013 and I am not sure when or where it occurred. Somewhere in the hell that began as this year, and now, there was a change. A huge change! A change in me and in my thinking on some pretty major things.
My relationship with my husband has changed. We went through hell and back this year. And now, we have something new... Peace. I have learned a lot about myself this year, and it's not even over yet.
Is there still stress? You betcha! But it's nice you can have a sense of peace in the middle of the storm.
And a prayer, a long time prayer, a 14 yr old prayer, got answered. I stopped pushing. I stopped complaining. I let go of bitterness. But I still prayed. And after all this time, it was finally answered. It took something we were afraid of happening to happen first. But when it did, there was really nothing to have feared. And in the end, it took what we feared to bring upon the answer to the prayer.
I wonder how many times in life we have let fear keep us from a promise or from an answer we have so desperately wanted or needed? And how many times were we afraid of something to only have to face it? And by then, it wasn't nearly as awful as we thought it could be. (most of the time)
Sometimes it takes facing what you fear most to get the outcome you most wanted.
Life is kinda funny like that.
I am still learning about fear and about all it strips away from us. But who would have guessed that our own fears, our own actions to make sure we wouldn't have to face our fear, is what held up the answer to my prayer? I was my own worst enemy. And all this time I blamed God. I wonder how many other times we blame Him for things, when if we would just "let go and let God" (trust in Him to see us through), things would be answered, or better, or different? This is definitely a lesson I need to remember.
I am so sorry Lord it took me so long to get to this point. I am so sorry for blaming You, when the whole time it was me, us. Help me to let go and trust You more. In Jesus's name, Amen.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Same ol' shit different day
Glass half empty, Glass half full
No matter how you see it, half ain't full
Life throwin me the same ol' shit, different day
As if I really wanted life to turn out this way
Loneliness is a hard burden to bare
Life so full in some ways,in others,there is no one here to share
Was never meant to do it all alone
never wanted too
But life has it's plans all it's own
No point in cryin, No point in tears
Just pick yourself up, And watch the years
Pass you by as every day
you do the same thing, and hope for change
Promises made and always broke
Your promises are nothing but jokes
So I live this lie every day
that everything is fine and we're okay
One day our birds will leave our nest
What happens then? What happens next?
Two strangers in a house we'll be
When will you wake up and see?
What you call life is passing us by
And the two of us aren't on the same ride
Bound by love, bound by chains
Bound by vows, but who's to blame?
I suppose we both played our part
in tearing what we had apart
Hope in us has been long gone
A friend forever, but no more love song
It is what it is, whatcha gonna do?
Make another promise or two?
Don't even bother this time, I know how it ends
Broken promises once again.
Same ol' shit, different day
Life wasn't suppose to be this way.
No matter how you see it, half ain't full
Life throwin me the same ol' shit, different day
As if I really wanted life to turn out this way
Loneliness is a hard burden to bare
Life so full in some ways,in others,there is no one here to share
Was never meant to do it all alone
never wanted too
But life has it's plans all it's own
No point in cryin, No point in tears
Just pick yourself up, And watch the years
Pass you by as every day
you do the same thing, and hope for change
Promises made and always broke
Your promises are nothing but jokes
So I live this lie every day
that everything is fine and we're okay
One day our birds will leave our nest
What happens then? What happens next?
Two strangers in a house we'll be
When will you wake up and see?
What you call life is passing us by
And the two of us aren't on the same ride
Bound by love, bound by chains
Bound by vows, but who's to blame?
I suppose we both played our part
in tearing what we had apart
Hope in us has been long gone
A friend forever, but no more love song
It is what it is, whatcha gonna do?
Make another promise or two?
Don't even bother this time, I know how it ends
Broken promises once again.
Same ol' shit, different day
Life wasn't suppose to be this way.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Things I would want my children to know
I was thinking tonight.... What if I weren't here tomorrow? What would my children remember about me? What lessons would they remember learning from me? So this is an open letter to my children....just in case. Enough of you know of them. Should anything ever happen to me, please make sure they see this.
My dearest children,
It is my utmost hope that you knew how much I loved you. All the little notes, the snuggles, the inside jokes, the talks, and all the "I love you"'s (to name a few). You were each my reason for living. You were each my love, my life. You were the spark and joy in my life. And we have something so very precious....LOVE. LOVE NEVER ENDS! IT NEVER DIES! And I will take your love with me. And my love for you will live on in your hearts and memories forever. It will always be with you. I promise. A part of me will always be with you. And one day will be together again.
Try not to be angry. Everyone must die. It would grieve me terribly to see you get angry over this. Instead, be there for one another. And be there for dad. He may not handle this too well. Give him grace and know that he too is hurting. It's okay to cry. It's okay to hurt. But please allow yourselves to heal as well.
As I sit here typing this, there is a thunderstorm outside. I love the sound of rain as it hits the window panes. I have always found it relaxing. The slow rumble of thunder.... Perhaps from time to time, when you hear the rain beating against your window, you will remember me, and smile.
You already knew my favorite color. Some other things that I loved were music, poetry, a good book, and chocolate. I love hot bubble baths. I loved music, all kinds. I hope that you will remember all the music we played and me watching you dance or dancing with you, twirling you. I loved that too. I loved snuggling and good hugs. And you kids were the best at snuggling and hugging. World champs!
I want you to know how proud I always was of you all. I know I could be tough at times. And from time to time I made mistakes. But I always tired to do everything out of love. My job was not to always be nice, but to teach. To teach to you responsibility. To teach you respect, for others and yourselves. To teach you about consequences. And yes sometimes. you had to learn that life is not fair. No one ever said it was suppose to be. But you can't let it get you down. Not for long. I had to start teaching you to take care of yourselves, because no one else will when you get older.
I loved your bright smiles and laughter. I loved your notes to me. I loved it when you guys got along and played with one another. I loved when you helped each other out and encouraged each other. Please don't ever stop doing that. This world is hard enough. You will need each other too much later in life. So what if you fight. You're sisters. But forgive and move past it.
You are each so much stronger than you realize. I know you may not feel very strong now. But even strong people cry. Even strong people allow themselves to get upset and grieve when needed. Strength comes in knowing when it's okay to do such things. Foolishness is to try not to do any of those things.
Your lives will go on, but I will never be far. When life gets rough, just know I am still in your hearts. I leave a piece of me with each of you.
And yes, I know you loved me. I do. I know you are probably kicking yourselves for every mistake or time you got in trouble. DON'T! It's part of being a kids and of growing up. I know you loved me deeply, just as I love you deeply. And I know that love also goes with me. You guys are amazing. I am honored to have been your mom. You all were my greatest treasures.
Some things to know for later in life...
1. You have to kiss a few frogs to find your prince. You are going to have bad relationships and breakups. It's a part of the learning process. Some relationships may end well. Others I guarantee will not. But you will learn what you are looking for in your future husband. And you will learn to show love to someone else. You will learn a lot about yourselves with each failed relationship. Just know that for each fail, it means you are one step closer to being with the right one. Hurt for a while, then pick yourself up, dust off, and start moving on.
2. Life isn't always about you. Sometimes it's about others. Don't ever forget to be kind to each other, friends, and strangers. Never be afraid to lend a helping hand. And never look for anything in return. Treat others the way you would want them to treat you, no matter how they seem to be treating you at the time.
3. Everyone deserves a 2nd chance. But not everyone deserves more than that. Remember that. There will come a day when you screw up. I promise. Learn from it! And remember just as you make foolish mistakes, so do others. But don't be door mat. Don't let others walk all over you. You'll learn this fine line as you grow, gain experience, and mature.
4. Get out and live!!! Don't sit inside on your electronics. Go ride your bikes. Go roller skating. Go do things!! You have this one life to live, so live it. Make it count. But don't be stupid. You won't need drugs to have a good time. And anyone telling you differently is lying. Pray for them.
5. In order to have good friends, you must first be a good friend.
6. Work hard. Nothing in this life is given for free. Someone somewhere is working for it. Nothing will ever be just given to you. If you want something, go out and work hard for it. There is a reward in knowing you worked hard to get what you wanted. Don't be lazy!
The only way to get what you want is to work for it yourself.
7. So show compassion and empathy. It seems to be a lost art. Don't let bitterness take root in you. You are better than that.
I am sure there are more things you should know that I never had the chance to finish showing you or teaching you. And for that, I am sorry. But this should be a good base for you to start at. ;)
I love you. I have loved you since the day I found out you were in my belly. And I will love you for all eternity. Thank you for loving me back. It was my honor to be your mother.
All my love, forever and ever....
~mom xox♥xo
My dearest children,
It is my utmost hope that you knew how much I loved you. All the little notes, the snuggles, the inside jokes, the talks, and all the "I love you"'s (to name a few). You were each my reason for living. You were each my love, my life. You were the spark and joy in my life. And we have something so very precious....LOVE. LOVE NEVER ENDS! IT NEVER DIES! And I will take your love with me. And my love for you will live on in your hearts and memories forever. It will always be with you. I promise. A part of me will always be with you. And one day will be together again.
Try not to be angry. Everyone must die. It would grieve me terribly to see you get angry over this. Instead, be there for one another. And be there for dad. He may not handle this too well. Give him grace and know that he too is hurting. It's okay to cry. It's okay to hurt. But please allow yourselves to heal as well.
As I sit here typing this, there is a thunderstorm outside. I love the sound of rain as it hits the window panes. I have always found it relaxing. The slow rumble of thunder.... Perhaps from time to time, when you hear the rain beating against your window, you will remember me, and smile.
You already knew my favorite color. Some other things that I loved were music, poetry, a good book, and chocolate. I love hot bubble baths. I loved music, all kinds. I hope that you will remember all the music we played and me watching you dance or dancing with you, twirling you. I loved that too. I loved snuggling and good hugs. And you kids were the best at snuggling and hugging. World champs!
I want you to know how proud I always was of you all. I know I could be tough at times. And from time to time I made mistakes. But I always tired to do everything out of love. My job was not to always be nice, but to teach. To teach to you responsibility. To teach you respect, for others and yourselves. To teach you about consequences. And yes sometimes. you had to learn that life is not fair. No one ever said it was suppose to be. But you can't let it get you down. Not for long. I had to start teaching you to take care of yourselves, because no one else will when you get older.
I loved your bright smiles and laughter. I loved your notes to me. I loved it when you guys got along and played with one another. I loved when you helped each other out and encouraged each other. Please don't ever stop doing that. This world is hard enough. You will need each other too much later in life. So what if you fight. You're sisters. But forgive and move past it.
You are each so much stronger than you realize. I know you may not feel very strong now. But even strong people cry. Even strong people allow themselves to get upset and grieve when needed. Strength comes in knowing when it's okay to do such things. Foolishness is to try not to do any of those things.
Your lives will go on, but I will never be far. When life gets rough, just know I am still in your hearts. I leave a piece of me with each of you.
And yes, I know you loved me. I do. I know you are probably kicking yourselves for every mistake or time you got in trouble. DON'T! It's part of being a kids and of growing up. I know you loved me deeply, just as I love you deeply. And I know that love also goes with me. You guys are amazing. I am honored to have been your mom. You all were my greatest treasures.
Some things to know for later in life...
1. You have to kiss a few frogs to find your prince. You are going to have bad relationships and breakups. It's a part of the learning process. Some relationships may end well. Others I guarantee will not. But you will learn what you are looking for in your future husband. And you will learn to show love to someone else. You will learn a lot about yourselves with each failed relationship. Just know that for each fail, it means you are one step closer to being with the right one. Hurt for a while, then pick yourself up, dust off, and start moving on.
2. Life isn't always about you. Sometimes it's about others. Don't ever forget to be kind to each other, friends, and strangers. Never be afraid to lend a helping hand. And never look for anything in return. Treat others the way you would want them to treat you, no matter how they seem to be treating you at the time.
3. Everyone deserves a 2nd chance. But not everyone deserves more than that. Remember that. There will come a day when you screw up. I promise. Learn from it! And remember just as you make foolish mistakes, so do others. But don't be door mat. Don't let others walk all over you. You'll learn this fine line as you grow, gain experience, and mature.
4. Get out and live!!! Don't sit inside on your electronics. Go ride your bikes. Go roller skating. Go do things!! You have this one life to live, so live it. Make it count. But don't be stupid. You won't need drugs to have a good time. And anyone telling you differently is lying. Pray for them.
5. In order to have good friends, you must first be a good friend.
6. Work hard. Nothing in this life is given for free. Someone somewhere is working for it. Nothing will ever be just given to you. If you want something, go out and work hard for it. There is a reward in knowing you worked hard to get what you wanted. Don't be lazy!
The only way to get what you want is to work for it yourself.
7. So show compassion and empathy. It seems to be a lost art. Don't let bitterness take root in you. You are better than that.
I am sure there are more things you should know that I never had the chance to finish showing you or teaching you. And for that, I am sorry. But this should be a good base for you to start at. ;)
I love you. I have loved you since the day I found out you were in my belly. And I will love you for all eternity. Thank you for loving me back. It was my honor to be your mother.
All my love, forever and ever....
~mom xox♥xo
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Poker
Know when to hold them and know when to fold them. The cardinal rule of poker. If you have got a losing hand, fold it. No sense in wasting time or money something that has no chance in hell of winning.
There are those bluffers though. Those who hold a crap hand and try to convince you it's not only a good hand, but a winning hand. Liars. That's what they are, simply put. Poker is a game that celebrates lying. The better bluffer (liar) you are, the more you win.
Life is a lot like poker. We are dealt a hand, and we don't have a choice as to what the hand is. But it's how we play it that matters. Do we hold them or fold them?
Ever heard the saying, "Never kid a kidder"? Same could be said in poker. Never bluf a bluffer. The trick to a good bluf (lie) is to almost believe it yourself. Then everyone else will too. The problem is, in life, sometimes you get so good at bluffing (lying) you do start to believe in them yourself. Then you are really screwed.
I have had a really good bluffer in my life. I always bought into what they said. I think they wanted to believe in everything they said too. But they never did follow through. Ever. Talking and doing are two different things. I thought I had a winning hand. I thought it would take some work, it wouldn't be easy, but it was a winner. I should have re-examined my hand long ago. Maybe I wouldn't be where I am now.
In Hold'em poker, you play the best of the cards dealt and hope for the best. I think I have played this game to many times. It's time to for a new game. A new hand maybe. Time to cut loose the cards that aren't winners and focus on what is. Maybe then I'll have a chance at winning.
I'm folding this one. I'm changing the game. Life is too short for this crap. So deal me a new hand. I am finally ready.
There are those bluffers though. Those who hold a crap hand and try to convince you it's not only a good hand, but a winning hand. Liars. That's what they are, simply put. Poker is a game that celebrates lying. The better bluffer (liar) you are, the more you win.
Life is a lot like poker. We are dealt a hand, and we don't have a choice as to what the hand is. But it's how we play it that matters. Do we hold them or fold them?
Ever heard the saying, "Never kid a kidder"? Same could be said in poker. Never bluf a bluffer. The trick to a good bluf (lie) is to almost believe it yourself. Then everyone else will too. The problem is, in life, sometimes you get so good at bluffing (lying) you do start to believe in them yourself. Then you are really screwed.
I have had a really good bluffer in my life. I always bought into what they said. I think they wanted to believe in everything they said too. But they never did follow through. Ever. Talking and doing are two different things. I thought I had a winning hand. I thought it would take some work, it wouldn't be easy, but it was a winner. I should have re-examined my hand long ago. Maybe I wouldn't be where I am now.
In Hold'em poker, you play the best of the cards dealt and hope for the best. I think I have played this game to many times. It's time to for a new game. A new hand maybe. Time to cut loose the cards that aren't winners and focus on what is. Maybe then I'll have a chance at winning.
I'm folding this one. I'm changing the game. Life is too short for this crap. So deal me a new hand. I am finally ready.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Ryan Recalls On Fireplaces and Frontload Washers
Ryan has issued two recalls on products. One is on some of the fireplaces, the other is on front load washers.
Please visit http://www.myryanhome.com/RecallNotices.aspx and click on the links to see if yours is part of the recall.
Please visit http://www.myryanhome.com/RecallNotices.aspx and click on the links to see if yours is part of the recall.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Levaquin: My account (warning some graphic detail)
Levaquin is an extremely strong antibiotic. Levaquin is used to treat bacterial infections of the skin, sinuses,
kidneys, bladder, or prostate. It is also used to treat bacterial
infections that cause bronchitis or pneumonia, and to treat people who
have been exposed to anthrax or plague. Yes you read that right. When prescribed, it comes with a black box warning. This is the last step taken before a recall. I highly suggest anyone who is prescribed this medication read the entire black box warning! This blog entry is just to document my experience with this drug.
My doctor prescribed this medicine because of a sinus infection I had that was not going away. The first round of antibiotics I was on was not successful at helping get rid of the infection. My doctor told me to read the black box warning and not to exercise for 3 weeks. I am on a prescribed regimen of 1 pill a day for 10 days. I am guessing the 3 week limitation is to make sure the drug is out of my system completely. She also told me that one of the biggest side effects the drug has ruptured tendons. (explains the no exercise) And worse yet, some of the more severe side effects (such as tendonitis) can appear weeks or months after taking this medication.
I have been on the medication now for 7 days (only 3 more days left!). I was told to take it with food, so I take it with the same meal every day.
The most immediate thing I noticed was insomnia. After taking just the first pill I was no longer sleeping at night. And I'm still not. I am up until somewhere between 1 a.m. and 5 a.m. When I finally do fall away into slumber, it is not peaceful or deep. I am aware of all that goes on around me and wake up easily. Not a fun side effect, but when you are desperate to feel better, you suck it up. It's only for a few days, right? Just 10 days. How hard could that be?
It does make me a bit nauseous for a few hours after taking it. But nothing too terrible. That feeling does go away and it's not severe.
After 2 days of doses of the medicine I inquired the strangest bruise on my finger. A day later, another on foot. Both in the area of the knuckles/joints. I had done nothing but lie on the couch for those days. I am not sure how I got bruises. After being sick for a total of 5 weeks when I started the medicine, to say I was tired is an understatement. My body was exhausted. Thus the lying on the couch. The bruising seems strange, but whatever. I needed to get well.
In spite of no sleep, I finally started seeing my energy levels slowly return. I am still not myself and tire quickly (by mid afternoon most days), but at least I am able to use my mornings to get things done. I find this lack of energy to be because I was sick and not the medication. It just takes a while to build your strength and stamina up after being sick for so long. Otherwise I would tend to think that the lack of sleep would definitely be hindering me more and I would not be motivated to do anything at all. Perhaps the lack of sleep is why I tucker out by late afternoon, but at least I have my mornings back! Something I did not have prior to taking this medicine.
After a total of 3 days doses I noticed my joints began to hurt. First in my fingers, then followed by hips. Now my knees, ankles, arms, just about everything aches. My hands feel like that of an 80 year old with arthritis. They HURT!!! At this point I did consider calling my doctor, but I kept telling myself I only have a few more doses left and I NEED to get well. So yes, my fingers hurt typing this. It's taking me much longer than expected to type. But only 3 more days left of the medicine! And this medicine seems to be widely researched on the net. So I think it's important to make an account of my experience.
A quirky little side effect I also noticed was that for the first 3 hours after taking the medication, I would get ringing in my ears. It is not constant. But it comes and goes 2-3 times in those first 3 or so hours after taking the medicine. After that, it's gone. It's a nuisance, but that's about all. I have watched it very carefully. And never lasts more than a minute or so per episode.
I would get a little light headed when changing positions after starting the medication as well. For example, if I stood up after sitting I would get light headed. But that eventually went away.
I have also gotten use to the metallic taste in my mouth that has started since starting this medication. I can't wait for this to go away.
Another fun little diddy, is that as with any antibiotic, it can tend to upset your tummy a little bit. And you can't take anything for that. You also can't take NSAIDS, such as ibuprofen. Advil is my go to medicine for pain, so this is not fun with headaches and sore joints. Tylenol doesn't seem to help much. But you do what you got to do.
I only have a few more days/doses left of this medication. And I have to say there had been more side effects I have experienced with it than anything I have ever taken. However, as much as a nuisance as they have been (or continue to be), they haven't been worth getting off the medicine.
My sinus headaches had gotten to the point where they debilitated me prior to starting this medication. It was constant and never ending. The pressure in my head alone made me nauseous and dizzy. No medicine over the counter was helping, and the first antibiotic I took didn't help either. I couldn't breath through my nose at all. And the drainage into my throat chest had done a number on my body as well. My coughing was beginning to hurt my ribs. And my throat was so sore, swollen, and raw from the drainage, I had lost my voice. My husband had to take me to the doctor this second time around. I couldn't walk a few feet with out feeling like I was going to fall over from the dizziness. There was no way I could drive. I was so miserable tears fell from my eyes in spite of me trying to my hardest to keep them from doing so. Crying was only going to make my headache worse and that was the last thing I needed.
I guess what I am trying to say is that being sick for so long, and how bad it had gotten for me, was worse than all the side effects I have experienced with Levaquin. I have 3 kids, 2 dogs, a husband, and a home to care for. I need to be well! I am so sick of being sick!
Since starting the medication I can now say my headache that was constant is no longer that way. Yesterday and the day before I woke up headache free! And stayed that way until the afternoon! Today, as I type this, it's after 2 pm, and I still have NO headache! I can breathe through my nose again as well. All the liquids I expel (blowing my nose or coughing up) are now clear! No more blood or dark yellow/green/brown mixture. =) Army green mucus with blood in it is not fun to see or expel. Trust me.
I suggest anyone being prescribed this medication talk to their doctor and read the black box warning. It is a very serious medication. A friend's husband ended up in the hospital after taking this medication.
Here is just a sample of some of the black box warning for Levaquin:
Get emergency medical help if you have any of these signs of an allergic reaction while taking levofloxacin (the active ingredient contained in Levaquin) hives; difficult breathing; swelling of your face, lips, tongue, or throat.
Stop using levofloxacin and call your doctor at once if you have a serious side effect such as:
The black box warning was 4 pages long (2 pages front and back). This is a very serious medication and is not for everyone! Please talk about any concerns you have about this medication with your doctor!
I simply wanted to put my personal account of taking this medication out there for any individuals considering taking this medication. And also for my own records. Since serious side effects can occur up to months after taking the medication, I figured it was best to make an account of all my side effects while on the medication.
Good luck to anyone considering taking this medicine. It is not for the weak.
My doctor prescribed this medicine because of a sinus infection I had that was not going away. The first round of antibiotics I was on was not successful at helping get rid of the infection. My doctor told me to read the black box warning and not to exercise for 3 weeks. I am on a prescribed regimen of 1 pill a day for 10 days. I am guessing the 3 week limitation is to make sure the drug is out of my system completely. She also told me that one of the biggest side effects the drug has ruptured tendons. (explains the no exercise) And worse yet, some of the more severe side effects (such as tendonitis) can appear weeks or months after taking this medication.
I have been on the medication now for 7 days (only 3 more days left!). I was told to take it with food, so I take it with the same meal every day.
The most immediate thing I noticed was insomnia. After taking just the first pill I was no longer sleeping at night. And I'm still not. I am up until somewhere between 1 a.m. and 5 a.m. When I finally do fall away into slumber, it is not peaceful or deep. I am aware of all that goes on around me and wake up easily. Not a fun side effect, but when you are desperate to feel better, you suck it up. It's only for a few days, right? Just 10 days. How hard could that be?
It does make me a bit nauseous for a few hours after taking it. But nothing too terrible. That feeling does go away and it's not severe.
After 2 days of doses of the medicine I inquired the strangest bruise on my finger. A day later, another on foot. Both in the area of the knuckles/joints. I had done nothing but lie on the couch for those days. I am not sure how I got bruises. After being sick for a total of 5 weeks when I started the medicine, to say I was tired is an understatement. My body was exhausted. Thus the lying on the couch. The bruising seems strange, but whatever. I needed to get well.
In spite of no sleep, I finally started seeing my energy levels slowly return. I am still not myself and tire quickly (by mid afternoon most days), but at least I am able to use my mornings to get things done. I find this lack of energy to be because I was sick and not the medication. It just takes a while to build your strength and stamina up after being sick for so long. Otherwise I would tend to think that the lack of sleep would definitely be hindering me more and I would not be motivated to do anything at all. Perhaps the lack of sleep is why I tucker out by late afternoon, but at least I have my mornings back! Something I did not have prior to taking this medicine.
After a total of 3 days doses I noticed my joints began to hurt. First in my fingers, then followed by hips. Now my knees, ankles, arms, just about everything aches. My hands feel like that of an 80 year old with arthritis. They HURT!!! At this point I did consider calling my doctor, but I kept telling myself I only have a few more doses left and I NEED to get well. So yes, my fingers hurt typing this. It's taking me much longer than expected to type. But only 3 more days left of the medicine! And this medicine seems to be widely researched on the net. So I think it's important to make an account of my experience.
A quirky little side effect I also noticed was that for the first 3 hours after taking the medication, I would get ringing in my ears. It is not constant. But it comes and goes 2-3 times in those first 3 or so hours after taking the medicine. After that, it's gone. It's a nuisance, but that's about all. I have watched it very carefully. And never lasts more than a minute or so per episode.
I would get a little light headed when changing positions after starting the medication as well. For example, if I stood up after sitting I would get light headed. But that eventually went away.
I have also gotten use to the metallic taste in my mouth that has started since starting this medication. I can't wait for this to go away.
Another fun little diddy, is that as with any antibiotic, it can tend to upset your tummy a little bit. And you can't take anything for that. You also can't take NSAIDS, such as ibuprofen. Advil is my go to medicine for pain, so this is not fun with headaches and sore joints. Tylenol doesn't seem to help much. But you do what you got to do.
I only have a few more days/doses left of this medication. And I have to say there had been more side effects I have experienced with it than anything I have ever taken. However, as much as a nuisance as they have been (or continue to be), they haven't been worth getting off the medicine.
My sinus headaches had gotten to the point where they debilitated me prior to starting this medication. It was constant and never ending. The pressure in my head alone made me nauseous and dizzy. No medicine over the counter was helping, and the first antibiotic I took didn't help either. I couldn't breath through my nose at all. And the drainage into my throat chest had done a number on my body as well. My coughing was beginning to hurt my ribs. And my throat was so sore, swollen, and raw from the drainage, I had lost my voice. My husband had to take me to the doctor this second time around. I couldn't walk a few feet with out feeling like I was going to fall over from the dizziness. There was no way I could drive. I was so miserable tears fell from my eyes in spite of me trying to my hardest to keep them from doing so. Crying was only going to make my headache worse and that was the last thing I needed.
I guess what I am trying to say is that being sick for so long, and how bad it had gotten for me, was worse than all the side effects I have experienced with Levaquin. I have 3 kids, 2 dogs, a husband, and a home to care for. I need to be well! I am so sick of being sick!
Since starting the medication I can now say my headache that was constant is no longer that way. Yesterday and the day before I woke up headache free! And stayed that way until the afternoon! Today, as I type this, it's after 2 pm, and I still have NO headache! I can breathe through my nose again as well. All the liquids I expel (blowing my nose or coughing up) are now clear! No more blood or dark yellow/green/brown mixture. =) Army green mucus with blood in it is not fun to see or expel. Trust me.
I suggest anyone being prescribed this medication talk to their doctor and read the black box warning. It is a very serious medication. A friend's husband ended up in the hospital after taking this medication.
Here is just a sample of some of the black box warning for Levaquin:
Get emergency medical help if you have any of these signs of an allergic reaction while taking levofloxacin (the active ingredient contained in Levaquin) hives; difficult breathing; swelling of your face, lips, tongue, or throat.
Stop using levofloxacin and call your doctor at once if you have a serious side effect such as:
-
chest pain and severe dizziness, fainting, fast or pounding heartbeats;
-
sudden pain, snapping or popping sound, bruising, swelling, tenderness, stiffness, or loss of movement in any of your joints;
-
diarrhea that is watery or bloody;
-
confusion, hallucinations, depression, tremors, feeling restless or
anxious, unusual thoughts or behavior, insomnia, nightmares, seizure
(convulsions);
-
severe headache, ringing in your ears, nausea, vision problems, pain behind your eyes;
-
pale skin, fever, weakness, easy bruising or bleeding;
-
nausea, upper stomach pain, itching, loss of appetite, dark urine,
clay-colored stools, jaundice (yellowing of the skin or eyes);
-
urinating less than usual or not at all;
-
numbness, burning pain, or tingly feeling in your hands or feet;
-
the first sign of any skin rash, no matter how mild; or
-
severe skin reaction -- fever, sore throat, swelling in your face or
tongue, burning in your eyes, skin pain, followed by a red or purple
skin rash that spreads (especially in the face or upper body) and causes
blistering and peeling.
-
mild diarrhea, constipation, vomiting;
-
sleep problems (insomnia);
-
mild headache or dizziness; or
- vaginal itching or discharge.
Common side effects of Levaquin Oral:
| Head Pain | Less Severe |
Infrequent side effects of Levaquin Oral:
| Indigestion | Less Severe |
| Incomplete or Infrequent Bowel Movements | Less Severe |
| Drowsiness | Less Severe |
| Dizzy | Less Severe |
| Chronic Trouble Sleeping | Less Severe |
| Taste Problems | Less Severe |
| Trouble Breathing | Less Severe |
| Feel Like Throwing Up | Less Severe |
| Throwing Up | Less Severe |
| Diarrhea | Less Severe |
| Stomach Cramps | Less Severe |
| Nervous | Less Severe |
| Infection due to the Candida Fungus | Less Severe |
Rare side effects of Levaquin Oral:
| Yellowing of Skin or Eyes from Liver Problems | Severe | |||
| Any Disorder of the Brain | Severe | |||
| Nerve Function Blockage that Affects Normal Muscle Action | Severe | |||
| Pancreatitis | Severe | |||
| Abnormal High and or Low Blood Sugar | Severe | |||
| Very Rapid Heartbeat - Torsades de Pointes | Severe | |||
| Prolonged Q-T Interval on EKG | Severe | |||
| Abnormal Heart Rhythm | Severe | |||
| Vasculitis | Severe | |||
| Thrombotic Thrombocytopenic Purpura | Severe | |||
| Inflammation in Lungs caused by Allergic Reaction | Severe | |||
| Acute Liver Failure | Severe | |||
| Hepatitis caused by Drugs | Severe | |||
| Interstitial Nephritis | Severe | |||
| Acute Kidney Disease | Severe | |||
| Severe Bloody Diarrhea from Antibiotics | Severe | |||
| Drug or Chemical-Induced Sensitivity to Sunlight | Severe | |||
| Erythema Multiforme | Severe | |||
| Toxic Epidermal Necrolysis | Severe | |||
| Stevens-Johnson Syndrome | Severe | |||
| Redness of Skin | Severe | |||
| Inflammation of the Tendon | Severe | |||
| Rupture of a Tendon | Severe | |||
| Rupture of a Tendon in the Shoulder Area | Severe | |||
| Rupture of Tendons that Extend the Hand and Wrist | Severe | |||
| Rupture of Tendons that Flex the Hand and Wrist | Severe | |||
| Rupture of the Tendon in the Back of the Heel | Severe | |||
| Serious Muscle Damage that may Lead to Kidney Failure | Severe | |||
| Hallucination | Severe | |||
| Seizures | Severe | |||
| Rash | Severe | |||
| Abnormal Liver Function Tests | Severe | |||
| Life Threatening Allergic Reaction | Severe | |||
| Giant Hives | Severe | |||
| Allergic Reaction caused by a Drug | Severe | |||
| Allergic Reaction causing Serum Sickness | Severe | |||
| Inflammation of the Liver with Stoppage of Bile Flow | Severe | |||
| High Pressure Within the Skull | Severe | |||
| Low Blood Sugar | Severe | |||
| Hemolytic Anemia | Severe | |||
| Low Blood Counts due to Bone Marrow Failure | Severe | |||
| Decreased White Blood Cells | Severe | |||
| Confused | Severe | |||
| Having Thoughts of Suicide | Severe | |||
| Nightmares | Less Severe | |||
| Feeling Restless | Less Severe | |||
| Depression | Less Severe | |||
| Numbness, Tingling or Pain of Hands or Feet | Less Severe | |||
| Problems with Eyesight | Less Severe | |||
| Ringing in the Ears | Less Severe | |||
| Hearing Problem | Less Severe | |||
| Painful, Red or Swollen Tongue | Less Severe | |||
| Burning Stomach | Less Severe | |||
| Inflammation of the Lining of the Stomach and Intestines | Less Severe | |||
| Inflammation or Infection of Vagina | Less Severe | |||
| Itching | Less Severe | |||
| Hives | Less Severe | |||
| Joint Pain | Less Severe | |||
| Muscle Pain | Less Severe | |||
| Involuntary Quivering | Less Severe | |||
| Abnormal Manner of Walking | Less Severe | |||
| Loss of Appetite | Less Severe | |||
| Nosebleed | Less Severe | |||
| Gas | Less Severe | |||
| High Blood Sugar | Less Severe | |||
| The Appearance of Crystals in the Urine | Less Severe | |||
| Acquired Decrease of All Cells in the Blood | Less Severe | |||
| Anemia | Less Severe | |||
| Decreased Blood Platelets | Less Severe | |||
| Deficiency of Granulocytes a Type of White Blood Cell | Less Severe | |||
| Mental Disorder Resulting from Poisonous Agents | Less Severe | |||
| Anxious | Less Severe |
The black box warning was 4 pages long (2 pages front and back). This is a very serious medication and is not for everyone! Please talk about any concerns you have about this medication with your doctor!
I simply wanted to put my personal account of taking this medication out there for any individuals considering taking this medication. And also for my own records. Since serious side effects can occur up to months after taking the medication, I figured it was best to make an account of all my side effects while on the medication.
Good luck to anyone considering taking this medicine. It is not for the weak.
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