Change has hit my family once again. The kind we have no control over. The kind others bring upon you. The kind that has the potential to either be great, or totally devastate us. And yes, I'm scared.
Change is always scary. It's different. It's takes out of our comfort zone. And even when our comfort zone may not be all that comfortable, we tend to want it more than we ever do change. At least it's familiar. At least we know how to function in "the zone". Change is scary because we never really know what it's going to mean or what is going to happen next. Sure, we may have some idea sometimes, but the truth is it could go either way. And it's the fear of it turning bad, of it being failure, of it being devastation; that can paralyze us. The fear of not knowing, of not being comfortable anymore, not having a guarantee of success; not knowing is scary. And yes, I'm scared. Fear is definitely present. And yes, it is just about paralyzing.
I keep thinking I hear that still, small voice that I have come to know over the years whispering to me that it's okay. He's got this. And when I stop and just think on that, I can literally feel the blanket of comfort and peace start to come over me. But then fear rears it's ugly head again. And it's voice is so much louder. Sometimes it even seems to be shouting.
What if I'm wrong? What if it isn't the voice of Him who loves me? What if I'm being deceived? What if this all "goes to hell in a hand basket"? Ah fear.... the doubts it brings are awful. And it always makes you imagine and start believing the worse. *sigh*
I think that the immediate feeling I get of comfort and peace says a lot about that "still, small voice". I think that I am right in trusting in it, in Him. I don't know how this is all going to work out, but I have to believe that the Lord has a plan for us. And I have to believe it's good. (Jerm. 29:11 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.)
Father, I come to you tonight admitting I'm scared. I don't know what our future holds, but You do. Yet again I am reminded that control is only an illusion here. I really have very little of what I think I have. And I give up what control I think I have right now to you. I place this change and our future in Your hands alone oh Lord. Be in this. Guide us. Protect us. Help us make it. In Your hands I know I can trust whatever happens to be for the better good. Please help me personally through this. Help me be supportive. Help me not give into fear. And please forgive should I slip, and help lift me back onto the path that is Yours. This is Yours, Lord. We are Yours. Take care of us, please. I may not trust in man, but I do trust in You. Help me to continue to hold fast and build in that trust in You. I pray this is a blessing to us (and somehow to your kingdom). I thank you for answered prayers. In Jesus name this I pray, Amen.