WTFH...Words.

What The Fucking Hell!?!?

9/11....she was attacked...again.  He didn't like the way her beautiful face looked.  He thought she needed a makeover.  He went at her with a sharpie (stolen from another kid).   When she finally wrestled it away from him...he came at her again...bare handed....intent on hurting her. God love her!  She wrestled him away again.  The 3rd time he came at her, she raised her hand in both a defensive and offensive manner.  He finally backed off, only to attack another kid.

What makes someone attack another person?  What make them think they have that right?  And the words he attacked her with... fat, whore, ugly...and so on.  We asked her, "Why didn't you knee him in the groin?"  "Why didn't you hit him in throat and go for help?"   Her response?  "It never even occurred to me.  I didn't want to hurt him, I just wanted him to leave me alone."

That's my girl.


Proud she stood up for herself.  Proud she got him to leave her alone.  What boy starts a physical fight with a girl?  Sad for the other kid.  Sad for this kid.  Hurting for my daughter.  She told us what hurt the worst were the words.

Ever heard Eminem: Her Song?  I hear it and cry.  Parts of it remind me of how she feels.  I know she knows we love her and we care.  But we have been there.  We have helped her through some of her darkest times.  She can't go back to that.  But, I know it's hard for her.  Especially when she hears all the degrading comments again.....

We are only mom and dad.  She only takes what we say so far......   I worry for the coming year.  It's not starting out too well.  Nothing hurts worse than your child in this kind of pain.

Last year she heard horrible things all year long.  Several told her to go ahead and end her life, no one would care.  How do you help her past that?  Therapist?  Telling her every day how much you love her and how much she matters?  We did it all.  She can't have another year like last year. 

She has changed.  After last year, she doesn't trust.  She expects everyone not blood to hurt her.  And the one friend she thought would be there and would understand, didn't.  They all left her.  She's alone.  And it sucks.  And she doesn't trust a soul.  She is cynical.  And that makes it hard to make new friends.

What do you do for your child who is scarred and hurt so badly?

I hurt for her.  I cry for her.  I pray for her.

 God... protect her.  Keep her safe.  Restore to her what she's lost 10 fold.  PLEASE.  Her self-worth...friends... that light in her eyes....all of it.  She deserves a friend at the least, one good one.   She deserves love.  She is so caring.  It hurts to see her this way.  Please...help her.  And help us to help her.