Sunday, December 30, 2012

Lucky 13?

2012 is finally coming to an end.  And I must admit, I have mixed feelings about it.  This year was full of ups and downs.  For the longest time, it seemed like the downs would win.

We started off the year with my Granddad ill, then hospitalized.  In February my kids got sick, and then we lost him.  (At least for now.  I hope to see him again someday....)  It was not a good start to the year at all.  His death started a chain of events that ripped through my marriage in a most ugly way for many many months.  That was hard.  We have had several other things happen with other family members that weren't easy for anyone as well.

For most of this year it seemed like a year of loss.  I lost loved ones, and I thought I was finally going to lose my marriage at one point.  I watched other loved ones and friends lose things that were important to them.  But something changed this year in the midst of all the hardships.  I think maybe, at age 35, I am finally starting to grow up.  At least a little.  Maybe....

I learned that you can't give up when life gets hard.  You have to fight for what means the most to you.  Never give up hope.  Just because things are hard now, doesn't mean it's not going to get better.  Keep hanging on.  Keep fighting.  Keep having faith.  It may not always turn out like you imagined, but it will turn out for good if you just hang in there.  And there is even a chance, it will turn out even better than you imagined.

 I learned that loving someone doesn't mean you have to like everything about them.  But it does mean you continue to show that love and compassion, even when it's hard to do it.  Even when you think they don't deserve it.  Love isn't about deserving it.  Love gives freely, even when it hurts.  You have to let love win.  It's worth it.  It's always worth it.

I have seen some of those that started out the year suffering the most, now in a position of hope and happiness.

This year did not start out well at all.  But I have to say, for me...  It's ending pretty well.  Perhaps 2013 will continue in the blessings I have seen both in my life and in the lives of others I care about.  One can only hope!  But even if it doesn't, I know that if I keep the faith, never give up hope, and keep on fighting to live another day; it WILL get better once again.  Every day has a dawn, an afternoon, a sunset, and a night.  Perhaps our years are the same way.  Maybe our lives follow that same cycle.  But if that is true, then it truly is like they say.  It's always darkest...just before dawn. 

So for anyone out there in their darkest hour...  hang on!  Your dawn could be just around the corner.  Who knows what wonders lie ahead in 2013.  It's wide open.  And I, personally, and am looking forward to seeing what it holds.

Happy New Year everyone.  It is my heartfelt wish and prayer that 2013 be full of blessings for you all.

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