Gone. Just like that.
We have been very very upfront with everyone from day one. We kept nothing hidden. A lawyer, 2 different mortgage loan reps with 2 different companies, and the rep of Ryan all told us we were good. Turns out , we aren't.
In Jan. of 09 we filed for bankruptcy, including our home.
In March we went to court.
In April of 09 it was discharged.
But somehow, in Dec. of 09 a foreclosure was filed on our last property anyway. We were never served papers. And yes, we had a change of address filed.
We are now are stuck for another year before we can get any loan anywhere for a home. Prices and interest are going up. That is NOT good news for us at all. What we can afford now, the quality home, will not be in our price range a year from now with interest rates over 5%.
It would SEEM as if we are stuck living in crappy houses, in crappy neighborhoods.
I am beyond crushed. I am devastated. Over and over again we asked all these people. Over and over again we were told no problem. Turns out, everyone was wrong.
Telling my kids was the hardest. My middle girl just broke down completely. "Why can't we ask someone else? Can Daddy get bonus?" Were just a few of the heart felt pleas she threw at me. I knew they'd be disappointed, but she fell apart...literally. Just fell down in tears. I caught her in my arms.
I kept saying I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Turns out I was right. I knew this was way to good to be true for us. We never had ANYTHING that wasn't a struggle or had some sort of horrible thing go along with it. And yes...my children are our biggest blessing, but even each on of their births came with horrible things.
All I want is a beautiful home in a nice neighborhood for kids to grow up in. I feel like we'll never get that.
We prayed this whole time for signs and confirmations, which we seemed to get. We prayed for God to shut the door if this wasn't for us before we took the next step. He never did. I am hurt. I don't understand how a loving God would allow this kind of pain. I have had enough damn pain in my life. And HE knows it. Not to mention the pain the children are now in.
Yes, my faith is shaken. Not entirely. I know who the Lord is. I still love him and will follow him. But my faith in how he is wonderful loving father who wants to bless his children and answer prayers and not lead us astray is definitely shaking. My core belief in who is has not changed. I still choose to love him, even if it feels like he doesn't love me. But right now, I'm angry and hurting. And I've told him as much.
Our dream was shattered tonight. And yes...this too shall pass and no one can predict the future. But going on all we DO know and how my life has played out, it doesn't look promising.
My poor husband is taking this as a personal failure. It's not his fault. That just kills me.
We are devastated. Crushed. My kids are hurting which only hurts me more. It would take a miracle for this turn around. But we aren't counting one. It is what it is. We. Are. Screwed.
Monday, March 7, 2011
frustrated
So...here we are trying to build a house. Exciting stuff, huh? Unless you are me.
Do you how many meeting there are just before Construction starts?
Colors meeting
Flooring meeting
Guardian Meeting (electrical)
Pre-construction meeting
Pre-drywall meeting
2nd meeting with Guardian
Most of these I have been advised (by several people) last about 2 hours each.
Ok..now remember. I have a toddler who MUST HAVE her naps. She's a terror without them. Forget about meetings with a toddler who has not had a nap! After that the kids get off the bus. Time for homework and dinner. It takes my kids at least an hour for homework. So any hope of afternoon meetings are O.U.T.! OUT!
So morning meetings it must be! Bean is at her best in the a.m. anyway. lol Won't be easy, but it is what it is. HOWEVER my hubby thinks that all this should revolve around his work schedule (getting off at 6 at night on his early nights). Um...No. Building this home is a temporary thing. One of his bosses did it a few years ago. And amazingly, he was able to leave work and do what needed to be done. His boss knows about us building and is supportive of it.
I told him he was going to have to be late some and just work later to make it up. He was not happy with that. I am not either. My kids and I love having him home for dinner for the few nights a week he is home for them. But like I said, this is temporary. It's about priorities. We need to get all this out of the way so building can begin. We need the move to be done before school starts. I don't want to yank my kids out of one school and into another after the school year has begun (in August).
I am prepared to do these meetings alone if I have too. He knows that. It won't be easy by myself with Bean with me, but I can do it. He knows that too. But the thing is, I want us to do this TOGETHER! He wants us to do it together too.
I just have to pray that his boss will be understanding. Supportive and understanding are two different things.
Do you how many meeting there are just before Construction starts?
Colors meeting
Flooring meeting
Guardian Meeting (electrical)
Pre-construction meeting
Pre-drywall meeting
2nd meeting with Guardian
Most of these I have been advised (by several people) last about 2 hours each.
Ok..now remember. I have a toddler who MUST HAVE her naps. She's a terror without them. Forget about meetings with a toddler who has not had a nap! After that the kids get off the bus. Time for homework and dinner. It takes my kids at least an hour for homework. So any hope of afternoon meetings are O.U.T.! OUT!
So morning meetings it must be! Bean is at her best in the a.m. anyway. lol Won't be easy, but it is what it is. HOWEVER my hubby thinks that all this should revolve around his work schedule (getting off at 6 at night on his early nights). Um...No. Building this home is a temporary thing. One of his bosses did it a few years ago. And amazingly, he was able to leave work and do what needed to be done. His boss knows about us building and is supportive of it.
I told him he was going to have to be late some and just work later to make it up. He was not happy with that. I am not either. My kids and I love having him home for dinner for the few nights a week he is home for them. But like I said, this is temporary. It's about priorities. We need to get all this out of the way so building can begin. We need the move to be done before school starts. I don't want to yank my kids out of one school and into another after the school year has begun (in August).
I am prepared to do these meetings alone if I have too. He knows that. It won't be easy by myself with Bean with me, but I can do it. He knows that too. But the thing is, I want us to do this TOGETHER! He wants us to do it together too.
I just have to pray that his boss will be understanding. Supportive and understanding are two different things.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Sinking In
We'll, we are officially building a new home. This is a new adventure for us. I am full of so many emotions right now. I literally fell to my knees last night in the kitchen while trying to make dinner, cried, and thanked God. I've been thanking him ever since!
I have been blogging (another blog) about our experience with trying to get a new home. I changed the name of it now to include the fact we are building. A running blog of the experience.
When I researched Ryan Homes online, a lot of complaints did show up. Good things too, but mostly complaints. But I also remembered that people who are satisfied go on with their lives. It's people with issues and complaints, people who are unsatisfied that take the web.
I thought I would keep my blog running and keep an honest account of what we go through and deal with. I won't sugar coat.
I became kinda proud of myself for doing this. But then a thought hit me, what if others are doing this too? And you know what? THEY ARE!! Just today I got a comment from some who are doing the same thing! (I changed the name of the blog last night to include Ryan's name).
I am now following several other blogs from people who are building with Ryan homes. The closest one is in D.C. Most are Penn. and Ohio. Hard to find anyone in the south blogging about the experience. But I'll keep looking. lol
From what I can tell, in the north, Ryan has closed homes with NO driveway yet. Several reported it having to be poured in the spring (they do have gravel in place for now). I can only attribute that to the awful winter weather they have up north.
I am excited!! A bit nervous, but excited! I still can't believe all this is really happening to us! It's too good to be true. We have prayed and prayed about this. We prayed honestly. Yes, that we wanted this home, but not if we couldn't afford it, would get in trouble later with payments, or it somehow did not fit into the Lord's plans for us. I'm in still in awe!
We've been pre-qualified for our loan. Meaning we meet all the qualifications of getting it, and the lender Rep does not foresee a problem. HOWEVER, it does not mean pre-approved. And when it goes to underwritting it's all in their hands. This is the cause of my concern. The qualifications state bankruptcy discharge of 2 years, a credit score of at least 580 (Dude...I'm well above that), and good credit history since.
On April 15th, we can officially send it to underwriting. We have paid off our credit cards (well, I have $100 left on mine which will paid off soon). I do have a blip though. A medical bill that went to collections. They IDIOTS sent the bills to our address from 2 freaking years ago . We had NO idea until collections called. I paid immediately over the phone. I am thinking they are going to want to letter stating what happened there. No problem. What ticks us off is that the collection people understood the issue and said it would NOT be reported on my credit since the error was not mine. It was reported. =/ This is when I wish I knew someone who was an underwriter who give me an honest thought/opinion about this. Sadly all we know is one lender, no underwriters.
Still, with every little tid bit that came my way that seemed to confirm this step of building, with the offer being so darn good, I believe that this is God's will for us. And yet at the same time, it's still so hard to believe that. I know, confusing, right? But we kept praying for him to close the door to building this home if it wasn't right for us. He never did that either. So, if this is truly a blessing he wants to bestow on us, I have to believe we will be approved by underwriting.
It's finally all starting to sink in. Slowly. I want to run back over to the model! LOL But it's a good 30 min drive from here and with gas prices, not a trip worth taking just because I feel like it. If I had someone who wanted to see it or a question about it or something to measure, sure!
We meet with our Rep on Wed. to pick out our color scheme. I think we already have it. LOL
I still find it hard to wrap my head around the fact that we are building a new home, in a wonderful location. A nice place to raise my kids!! And we plan on putting our roots down. This is our home for the next decade at least (or so is our plan). We will finally have a beautiful home, in a good neighborhood, to raise our three girls. A place we can all call home. A place we all love. How does it get any better that?
I have been blogging (another blog) about our experience with trying to get a new home. I changed the name of it now to include the fact we are building. A running blog of the experience.
When I researched Ryan Homes online, a lot of complaints did show up. Good things too, but mostly complaints. But I also remembered that people who are satisfied go on with their lives. It's people with issues and complaints, people who are unsatisfied that take the web.
I thought I would keep my blog running and keep an honest account of what we go through and deal with. I won't sugar coat.
I became kinda proud of myself for doing this. But then a thought hit me, what if others are doing this too? And you know what? THEY ARE!! Just today I got a comment from some who are doing the same thing! (I changed the name of the blog last night to include Ryan's name).
I am now following several other blogs from people who are building with Ryan homes. The closest one is in D.C. Most are Penn. and Ohio. Hard to find anyone in the south blogging about the experience. But I'll keep looking. lol
From what I can tell, in the north, Ryan has closed homes with NO driveway yet. Several reported it having to be poured in the spring (they do have gravel in place for now). I can only attribute that to the awful winter weather they have up north.
I am excited!! A bit nervous, but excited! I still can't believe all this is really happening to us! It's too good to be true. We have prayed and prayed about this. We prayed honestly. Yes, that we wanted this home, but not if we couldn't afford it, would get in trouble later with payments, or it somehow did not fit into the Lord's plans for us. I'm in still in awe!
We've been pre-qualified for our loan. Meaning we meet all the qualifications of getting it, and the lender Rep does not foresee a problem. HOWEVER, it does not mean pre-approved. And when it goes to underwritting it's all in their hands. This is the cause of my concern. The qualifications state bankruptcy discharge of 2 years, a credit score of at least 580 (Dude...I'm well above that), and good credit history since.
On April 15th, we can officially send it to underwriting. We have paid off our credit cards (well, I have $100 left on mine which will paid off soon). I do have a blip though. A medical bill that went to collections. They IDIOTS sent the bills to our address from 2 freaking years ago . We had NO idea until collections called. I paid immediately over the phone. I am thinking they are going to want to letter stating what happened there. No problem. What ticks us off is that the collection people understood the issue and said it would NOT be reported on my credit since the error was not mine. It was reported. =/ This is when I wish I knew someone who was an underwriter who give me an honest thought/opinion about this. Sadly all we know is one lender, no underwriters.
Still, with every little tid bit that came my way that seemed to confirm this step of building, with the offer being so darn good, I believe that this is God's will for us. And yet at the same time, it's still so hard to believe that. I know, confusing, right? But we kept praying for him to close the door to building this home if it wasn't right for us. He never did that either. So, if this is truly a blessing he wants to bestow on us, I have to believe we will be approved by underwriting.
It's finally all starting to sink in. Slowly. I want to run back over to the model! LOL But it's a good 30 min drive from here and with gas prices, not a trip worth taking just because I feel like it. If I had someone who wanted to see it or a question about it or something to measure, sure!
We meet with our Rep on Wed. to pick out our color scheme. I think we already have it. LOL
I still find it hard to wrap my head around the fact that we are building a new home, in a wonderful location. A nice place to raise my kids!! And we plan on putting our roots down. This is our home for the next decade at least (or so is our plan). We will finally have a beautiful home, in a good neighborhood, to raise our three girls. A place we can all call home. A place we all love. How does it get any better that?
Thursday, March 3, 2011
bygones be bygones
So, a friend and I had this falling out. It all started with a misunderstanding.
I was hurt to say the least and wanted to wash my hands of the whole thing.
But I have come to realize that this person did mean something too me. So lately I have been thinking about the friendship, all the misunderstandings, ect. I had realized that friendship meant more to me than some of the childish antics that have played out.
I have tried to slowly reach to out the this person. Nothing. No answers. Someone close to them gave a reason for no answers that seemed plausible. Apparently she even told this person we were all good, so to speak.
Since the issue of no answer was resolved, I have tried again to reach out to them. Again, nothing. I am hurt. And despite what they apparently tell others, things are not fine between us. I am no fool. It is what it is. I will not chase after anyone. Especially one who has caused me great heart ache in the past.
I will still chose to be friendly when around said person. We'll call it "neighborly". The friendship seems to definitely be gone. It does hurt. But that hurt at least goes to show me that I really did care.
I have chosen to not hate. I have chosen to let bygones be bygones. I will smile. I will wave. I will say hello. I will still treat them as I always have, but will never again go out of my way for them like I had in the past. I will not hold on to any ill will or hurt. What is the point in that? I hope for the very best for them. We both are apparently going on with our lives.
Someone told me I was being the "bigger person". Maybe. But that's not what this is about. This about moving on and not holding on to toxic emotions that just eat you up and make you bitter. This about my way of having some kind of closure. My way of moving on and being happy.
Life goes on and so must we all it with it.
I was hurt to say the least and wanted to wash my hands of the whole thing.
But I have come to realize that this person did mean something too me. So lately I have been thinking about the friendship, all the misunderstandings, ect. I had realized that friendship meant more to me than some of the childish antics that have played out.
I have tried to slowly reach to out the this person. Nothing. No answers. Someone close to them gave a reason for no answers that seemed plausible. Apparently she even told this person we were all good, so to speak.
Since the issue of no answer was resolved, I have tried again to reach out to them. Again, nothing. I am hurt. And despite what they apparently tell others, things are not fine between us. I am no fool. It is what it is. I will not chase after anyone. Especially one who has caused me great heart ache in the past.
I will still chose to be friendly when around said person. We'll call it "neighborly". The friendship seems to definitely be gone. It does hurt. But that hurt at least goes to show me that I really did care.
I have chosen to not hate. I have chosen to let bygones be bygones. I will smile. I will wave. I will say hello. I will still treat them as I always have, but will never again go out of my way for them like I had in the past. I will not hold on to any ill will or hurt. What is the point in that? I hope for the very best for them. We both are apparently going on with our lives.
Someone told me I was being the "bigger person". Maybe. But that's not what this is about. This about moving on and not holding on to toxic emotions that just eat you up and make you bitter. This about my way of having some kind of closure. My way of moving on and being happy.
Life goes on and so must we all it with it.
Waiting
So... we submitted our offer yesterday on the house. We know it was a bit low, but we needed to them to know what we needed...a discount and help with closing costs. We were told the counter should be in today, but could be as late as tomorrow. There are no words for this place I'm in and how I'm feeling.
We know that the March incentives are different. $10k off where ever you need it and a free fridge, washer and dryer. The $10K off puts us about $3K off from the top amount we could finance and be comfortable with the payments. As far as the appliances go, we're hoping they will use that money to put toward closing instead. If they will just come down the other $3k (although we are hoping it might be a bit more...you never know!)
You just never know which direction things will go. You know?
So, we are waiting.... And I am surprisingly okay with that. lol
We know that the March incentives are different. $10k off where ever you need it and a free fridge, washer and dryer. The $10K off puts us about $3K off from the top amount we could finance and be comfortable with the payments. As far as the appliances go, we're hoping they will use that money to put toward closing instead. If they will just come down the other $3k (although we are hoping it might be a bit more...you never know!)
You just never know which direction things will go. You know?
So, we are waiting.... And I am surprisingly okay with that. lol
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
A break in the clouds
Some new information has come through. We have to meet tomorrow and re-adjust our offer.
This is one of those times where if this works, there is only one reason, God.
So we are going to meet tomorrow and do what little we can, and put this in God's hands. He will either close this door, or push us through it. We are at a moment where no matter what we do here, it is all in HIS hands.
As disappointing as it would be not to get this home, I know deep down, God has a plan for us.
We are doing our part and putting this in God's hands once and for all. Either we're all in this, or we walk away. No matter what, I chose to trust in the Lord.
This is one of those times where if this works, there is only one reason, God.
So we are going to meet tomorrow and do what little we can, and put this in God's hands. He will either close this door, or push us through it. We are at a moment where no matter what we do here, it is all in HIS hands.
As disappointing as it would be not to get this home, I know deep down, God has a plan for us.
We are doing our part and putting this in God's hands once and for all. Either we're all in this, or we walk away. No matter what, I chose to trust in the Lord.
Breaking point
I think I have a sinus infection now. I won't go into the gross details, but...yeah. At least I have some Amox. here to take.
Yesterday I got terrible news about a family member.
Today we find out some very disheartening news about the home we wished to purchase.
We're back to looking on the market I think. But because of the loan mix-up, we now have to look at cheaper houses. Cheaper houses that put us in neighborhoods like this one.
What's wrong with where I live?
A neighbor who is pothead who gets their stuff from the teenager down the street. The mom near by who tries to score of first said neighbor. (she should just visit the teenager down the street).
The bomb/meth lab found down the street.
The suicidal guy.
The grown men (20's and 30's) fighting outside my house...WITH METAL PIPES!! Yes, EMT's had to be called out.
I just want a good, decent neighborhood to raise my children in. I want a house where we aren't on top of each other. This one we rent is too small. The kids are hanging clothes off of their bunk beds!! There is no storage space or closet space.
I know I trust the Lord here. I know he has a plan. But right now, I am very disappointed. Right now, I don't know how much bad news I can handle or take. So far 2011 is sucking just as bad as 2010. Did you know someone in my house has been sick every week since the 2nd week in January? That alone is very stressful. Ask any mom. Now I have 2 sick kids, I'm sick, I'm not sleeping, the bad news yesterday, and the bad news today.
Yup... I am ready to crawl in bed and just stay there a while. I know this too shall pass. But right now, I'm at a breaking point.
Yesterday I got terrible news about a family member.
Today we find out some very disheartening news about the home we wished to purchase.
We're back to looking on the market I think. But because of the loan mix-up, we now have to look at cheaper houses. Cheaper houses that put us in neighborhoods like this one.
What's wrong with where I live?
A neighbor who is pothead who gets their stuff from the teenager down the street. The mom near by who tries to score of first said neighbor. (she should just visit the teenager down the street).
The bomb/meth lab found down the street.
The suicidal guy.
The grown men (20's and 30's) fighting outside my house...WITH METAL PIPES!! Yes, EMT's had to be called out.
I just want a good, decent neighborhood to raise my children in. I want a house where we aren't on top of each other. This one we rent is too small. The kids are hanging clothes off of their bunk beds!! There is no storage space or closet space.
I know I trust the Lord here. I know he has a plan. But right now, I am very disappointed. Right now, I don't know how much bad news I can handle or take. So far 2011 is sucking just as bad as 2010. Did you know someone in my house has been sick every week since the 2nd week in January? That alone is very stressful. Ask any mom. Now I have 2 sick kids, I'm sick, I'm not sleeping, the bad news yesterday, and the bad news today.
Yup... I am ready to crawl in bed and just stay there a while. I know this too shall pass. But right now, I'm at a breaking point.
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