I was thinking tonight.... What if I weren't here tomorrow? What would my children remember about me? What lessons would they remember learning from me? So this is an open letter to my children....just in case. Enough of you know of them. Should anything ever happen to me, please make sure they see this.
My dearest children,
It is my utmost hope that you knew how much I loved you. All the little notes, the snuggles, the inside jokes, the talks, and all the "I love you"'s (to name a few). You were each my reason for living. You were each my love, my life. You were the spark and joy in my life. And we have something so very precious....LOVE. LOVE NEVER ENDS! IT NEVER DIES! And I will take your love with me. And my love for you will live on in your hearts and memories forever. It will always be with you. I promise. A part of me will always be with you. And one day will be together again.
Try not to be angry. Everyone must die. It would grieve me terribly to see you get angry over this. Instead, be there for one another. And be there for dad. He may not handle this too well. Give him grace and know that he too is hurting. It's okay to cry. It's okay to hurt. But please allow yourselves to heal as well.
As I sit here typing this, there is a thunderstorm outside. I love the sound of rain as it hits the window panes. I have always found it relaxing. The slow rumble of thunder.... Perhaps from time to time, when you hear the rain beating against your window, you will remember me, and smile.
You already knew my favorite color. Some other things that I loved were music, poetry, a good book, and chocolate. I love hot bubble baths. I loved music, all kinds. I hope that you will remember all the music we played and me watching you dance or dancing with you, twirling you. I loved that too. I loved snuggling and good hugs. And you kids were the best at snuggling and hugging. World champs!
I want you to know how proud I always was of you all. I know I could be tough at times. And from time to time I made mistakes. But I always tired to do everything out of love. My job was not to always be nice, but to teach. To teach to you responsibility. To teach you respect, for others and yourselves. To teach you about consequences. And yes sometimes. you had to learn that life is not fair. No one ever said it was suppose to be. But you can't let it get you down. Not for long. I had to start teaching you to take care of yourselves, because no one else will when you get older.
I loved your bright smiles and laughter. I loved your notes to me. I loved it when you guys got along and played with one another. I loved when you helped each other out and encouraged each other. Please don't ever stop doing that. This world is hard enough. You will need each other too much later in life. So what if you fight. You're sisters. But forgive and move past it.
You are each so much stronger than you realize. I know you may not feel very strong now. But even strong people cry. Even strong people allow themselves to get upset and grieve when needed. Strength comes in knowing when it's okay to do such things. Foolishness is to try not to do any of those things.
Your lives will go on, but I will never be far. When life gets rough, just know I am still in your hearts. I leave a piece of me with each of you.
And yes, I know you loved me. I do. I know you are probably kicking yourselves for every mistake or time you got in trouble. DON'T! It's part of being a kids and of growing up. I know you loved me deeply, just as I love you deeply. And I know that love also goes with me. You guys are amazing. I am honored to have been your mom. You all were my greatest treasures.
Some things to know for later in life...
1. You have to kiss a few frogs to find your prince. You are going to have bad relationships and breakups. It's a part of the learning process. Some relationships may end well. Others I guarantee will not. But you will learn what you are looking for in your future husband. And you will learn to show love to someone else. You will learn a lot about yourselves with each failed relationship. Just know that for each fail, it means you are one step closer to being with the right one. Hurt for a while, then pick yourself up, dust off, and start moving on.
2. Life isn't always about you. Sometimes it's about others. Don't ever forget to be kind to each other, friends, and strangers. Never be afraid to lend a helping hand. And never look for anything in return. Treat others the way you would want them to treat you, no matter how they seem to be treating you at the time.
3. Everyone deserves a 2nd chance. But not everyone deserves more than that. Remember that. There will come a day when you screw up. I promise. Learn from it! And remember just as you make foolish mistakes, so do others. But don't be door mat. Don't let others walk all over you. You'll learn this fine line as you grow, gain experience, and mature.
4. Get out and live!!! Don't sit inside on your electronics. Go ride your bikes. Go roller skating. Go do things!! You have this one life to live, so live it. Make it count. But don't be stupid. You won't need drugs to have a good time. And anyone telling you differently is lying. Pray for them.
5. In order to have good friends, you must first be a good friend.
6. Work hard. Nothing in this life is given for free. Someone somewhere is working for it. Nothing will ever be just given to you. If you want something, go out and work hard for it. There is a reward in knowing you worked hard to get what you wanted. Don't be lazy!
The only way to get what you want is to work for it yourself.
7. So show compassion and empathy. It seems to be a lost art. Don't let bitterness take root in you. You are better than that.
I am sure there are more things you should know that I never had the chance to finish showing you or teaching you. And for that, I am sorry. But this should be a good base for you to start at. ;)
I love you. I have loved you since the day I found out you were in my belly. And I will love you for all eternity. Thank you for loving me back. It was my honor to be your mother.
All my love, forever and ever....
~mom xox♥xo
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Poker
Know when to hold them and know when to fold them. The cardinal rule of poker. If you have got a losing hand, fold it. No sense in wasting time or money something that has no chance in hell of winning.
There are those bluffers though. Those who hold a crap hand and try to convince you it's not only a good hand, but a winning hand. Liars. That's what they are, simply put. Poker is a game that celebrates lying. The better bluffer (liar) you are, the more you win.
Life is a lot like poker. We are dealt a hand, and we don't have a choice as to what the hand is. But it's how we play it that matters. Do we hold them or fold them?
Ever heard the saying, "Never kid a kidder"? Same could be said in poker. Never bluf a bluffer. The trick to a good bluf (lie) is to almost believe it yourself. Then everyone else will too. The problem is, in life, sometimes you get so good at bluffing (lying) you do start to believe in them yourself. Then you are really screwed.
I have had a really good bluffer in my life. I always bought into what they said. I think they wanted to believe in everything they said too. But they never did follow through. Ever. Talking and doing are two different things. I thought I had a winning hand. I thought it would take some work, it wouldn't be easy, but it was a winner. I should have re-examined my hand long ago. Maybe I wouldn't be where I am now.
In Hold'em poker, you play the best of the cards dealt and hope for the best. I think I have played this game to many times. It's time to for a new game. A new hand maybe. Time to cut loose the cards that aren't winners and focus on what is. Maybe then I'll have a chance at winning.
I'm folding this one. I'm changing the game. Life is too short for this crap. So deal me a new hand. I am finally ready.
There are those bluffers though. Those who hold a crap hand and try to convince you it's not only a good hand, but a winning hand. Liars. That's what they are, simply put. Poker is a game that celebrates lying. The better bluffer (liar) you are, the more you win.
Life is a lot like poker. We are dealt a hand, and we don't have a choice as to what the hand is. But it's how we play it that matters. Do we hold them or fold them?
Ever heard the saying, "Never kid a kidder"? Same could be said in poker. Never bluf a bluffer. The trick to a good bluf (lie) is to almost believe it yourself. Then everyone else will too. The problem is, in life, sometimes you get so good at bluffing (lying) you do start to believe in them yourself. Then you are really screwed.
I have had a really good bluffer in my life. I always bought into what they said. I think they wanted to believe in everything they said too. But they never did follow through. Ever. Talking and doing are two different things. I thought I had a winning hand. I thought it would take some work, it wouldn't be easy, but it was a winner. I should have re-examined my hand long ago. Maybe I wouldn't be where I am now.
In Hold'em poker, you play the best of the cards dealt and hope for the best. I think I have played this game to many times. It's time to for a new game. A new hand maybe. Time to cut loose the cards that aren't winners and focus on what is. Maybe then I'll have a chance at winning.
I'm folding this one. I'm changing the game. Life is too short for this crap. So deal me a new hand. I am finally ready.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Ryan Recalls On Fireplaces and Frontload Washers
Ryan has issued two recalls on products. One is on some of the fireplaces, the other is on front load washers.
Please visit http://www.myryanhome.com/RecallNotices.aspx and click on the links to see if yours is part of the recall.
Please visit http://www.myryanhome.com/RecallNotices.aspx and click on the links to see if yours is part of the recall.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Levaquin: My account (warning some graphic detail)
Levaquin is an extremely strong antibiotic. Levaquin is used to treat bacterial infections of the skin, sinuses,
kidneys, bladder, or prostate. It is also used to treat bacterial
infections that cause bronchitis or pneumonia, and to treat people who
have been exposed to anthrax or plague. Yes you read that right. When prescribed, it comes with a black box warning. This is the last step taken before a recall. I highly suggest anyone who is prescribed this medication read the entire black box warning! This blog entry is just to document my experience with this drug.
My doctor prescribed this medicine because of a sinus infection I had that was not going away. The first round of antibiotics I was on was not successful at helping get rid of the infection. My doctor told me to read the black box warning and not to exercise for 3 weeks. I am on a prescribed regimen of 1 pill a day for 10 days. I am guessing the 3 week limitation is to make sure the drug is out of my system completely. She also told me that one of the biggest side effects the drug has ruptured tendons. (explains the no exercise) And worse yet, some of the more severe side effects (such as tendonitis) can appear weeks or months after taking this medication.
I have been on the medication now for 7 days (only 3 more days left!). I was told to take it with food, so I take it with the same meal every day.
The most immediate thing I noticed was insomnia. After taking just the first pill I was no longer sleeping at night. And I'm still not. I am up until somewhere between 1 a.m. and 5 a.m. When I finally do fall away into slumber, it is not peaceful or deep. I am aware of all that goes on around me and wake up easily. Not a fun side effect, but when you are desperate to feel better, you suck it up. It's only for a few days, right? Just 10 days. How hard could that be?
It does make me a bit nauseous for a few hours after taking it. But nothing too terrible. That feeling does go away and it's not severe.
After 2 days of doses of the medicine I inquired the strangest bruise on my finger. A day later, another on foot. Both in the area of the knuckles/joints. I had done nothing but lie on the couch for those days. I am not sure how I got bruises. After being sick for a total of 5 weeks when I started the medicine, to say I was tired is an understatement. My body was exhausted. Thus the lying on the couch. The bruising seems strange, but whatever. I needed to get well.
In spite of no sleep, I finally started seeing my energy levels slowly return. I am still not myself and tire quickly (by mid afternoon most days), but at least I am able to use my mornings to get things done. I find this lack of energy to be because I was sick and not the medication. It just takes a while to build your strength and stamina up after being sick for so long. Otherwise I would tend to think that the lack of sleep would definitely be hindering me more and I would not be motivated to do anything at all. Perhaps the lack of sleep is why I tucker out by late afternoon, but at least I have my mornings back! Something I did not have prior to taking this medicine.
After a total of 3 days doses I noticed my joints began to hurt. First in my fingers, then followed by hips. Now my knees, ankles, arms, just about everything aches. My hands feel like that of an 80 year old with arthritis. They HURT!!! At this point I did consider calling my doctor, but I kept telling myself I only have a few more doses left and I NEED to get well. So yes, my fingers hurt typing this. It's taking me much longer than expected to type. But only 3 more days left of the medicine! And this medicine seems to be widely researched on the net. So I think it's important to make an account of my experience.
A quirky little side effect I also noticed was that for the first 3 hours after taking the medication, I would get ringing in my ears. It is not constant. But it comes and goes 2-3 times in those first 3 or so hours after taking the medicine. After that, it's gone. It's a nuisance, but that's about all. I have watched it very carefully. And never lasts more than a minute or so per episode.
I would get a little light headed when changing positions after starting the medication as well. For example, if I stood up after sitting I would get light headed. But that eventually went away.
I have also gotten use to the metallic taste in my mouth that has started since starting this medication. I can't wait for this to go away.
Another fun little diddy, is that as with any antibiotic, it can tend to upset your tummy a little bit. And you can't take anything for that. You also can't take NSAIDS, such as ibuprofen. Advil is my go to medicine for pain, so this is not fun with headaches and sore joints. Tylenol doesn't seem to help much. But you do what you got to do.
I only have a few more days/doses left of this medication. And I have to say there had been more side effects I have experienced with it than anything I have ever taken. However, as much as a nuisance as they have been (or continue to be), they haven't been worth getting off the medicine.
My sinus headaches had gotten to the point where they debilitated me prior to starting this medication. It was constant and never ending. The pressure in my head alone made me nauseous and dizzy. No medicine over the counter was helping, and the first antibiotic I took didn't help either. I couldn't breath through my nose at all. And the drainage into my throat chest had done a number on my body as well. My coughing was beginning to hurt my ribs. And my throat was so sore, swollen, and raw from the drainage, I had lost my voice. My husband had to take me to the doctor this second time around. I couldn't walk a few feet with out feeling like I was going to fall over from the dizziness. There was no way I could drive. I was so miserable tears fell from my eyes in spite of me trying to my hardest to keep them from doing so. Crying was only going to make my headache worse and that was the last thing I needed.
I guess what I am trying to say is that being sick for so long, and how bad it had gotten for me, was worse than all the side effects I have experienced with Levaquin. I have 3 kids, 2 dogs, a husband, and a home to care for. I need to be well! I am so sick of being sick!
Since starting the medication I can now say my headache that was constant is no longer that way. Yesterday and the day before I woke up headache free! And stayed that way until the afternoon! Today, as I type this, it's after 2 pm, and I still have NO headache! I can breathe through my nose again as well. All the liquids I expel (blowing my nose or coughing up) are now clear! No more blood or dark yellow/green/brown mixture. =) Army green mucus with blood in it is not fun to see or expel. Trust me.
I suggest anyone being prescribed this medication talk to their doctor and read the black box warning. It is a very serious medication. A friend's husband ended up in the hospital after taking this medication.
Here is just a sample of some of the black box warning for Levaquin:
Get emergency medical help if you have any of these signs of an allergic reaction while taking levofloxacin (the active ingredient contained in Levaquin) hives; difficult breathing; swelling of your face, lips, tongue, or throat.
Stop using levofloxacin and call your doctor at once if you have a serious side effect such as:
The black box warning was 4 pages long (2 pages front and back). This is a very serious medication and is not for everyone! Please talk about any concerns you have about this medication with your doctor!
I simply wanted to put my personal account of taking this medication out there for any individuals considering taking this medication. And also for my own records. Since serious side effects can occur up to months after taking the medication, I figured it was best to make an account of all my side effects while on the medication.
Good luck to anyone considering taking this medicine. It is not for the weak.
My doctor prescribed this medicine because of a sinus infection I had that was not going away. The first round of antibiotics I was on was not successful at helping get rid of the infection. My doctor told me to read the black box warning and not to exercise for 3 weeks. I am on a prescribed regimen of 1 pill a day for 10 days. I am guessing the 3 week limitation is to make sure the drug is out of my system completely. She also told me that one of the biggest side effects the drug has ruptured tendons. (explains the no exercise) And worse yet, some of the more severe side effects (such as tendonitis) can appear weeks or months after taking this medication.
I have been on the medication now for 7 days (only 3 more days left!). I was told to take it with food, so I take it with the same meal every day.
The most immediate thing I noticed was insomnia. After taking just the first pill I was no longer sleeping at night. And I'm still not. I am up until somewhere between 1 a.m. and 5 a.m. When I finally do fall away into slumber, it is not peaceful or deep. I am aware of all that goes on around me and wake up easily. Not a fun side effect, but when you are desperate to feel better, you suck it up. It's only for a few days, right? Just 10 days. How hard could that be?
It does make me a bit nauseous for a few hours after taking it. But nothing too terrible. That feeling does go away and it's not severe.
After 2 days of doses of the medicine I inquired the strangest bruise on my finger. A day later, another on foot. Both in the area of the knuckles/joints. I had done nothing but lie on the couch for those days. I am not sure how I got bruises. After being sick for a total of 5 weeks when I started the medicine, to say I was tired is an understatement. My body was exhausted. Thus the lying on the couch. The bruising seems strange, but whatever. I needed to get well.
In spite of no sleep, I finally started seeing my energy levels slowly return. I am still not myself and tire quickly (by mid afternoon most days), but at least I am able to use my mornings to get things done. I find this lack of energy to be because I was sick and not the medication. It just takes a while to build your strength and stamina up after being sick for so long. Otherwise I would tend to think that the lack of sleep would definitely be hindering me more and I would not be motivated to do anything at all. Perhaps the lack of sleep is why I tucker out by late afternoon, but at least I have my mornings back! Something I did not have prior to taking this medicine.
After a total of 3 days doses I noticed my joints began to hurt. First in my fingers, then followed by hips. Now my knees, ankles, arms, just about everything aches. My hands feel like that of an 80 year old with arthritis. They HURT!!! At this point I did consider calling my doctor, but I kept telling myself I only have a few more doses left and I NEED to get well. So yes, my fingers hurt typing this. It's taking me much longer than expected to type. But only 3 more days left of the medicine! And this medicine seems to be widely researched on the net. So I think it's important to make an account of my experience.
A quirky little side effect I also noticed was that for the first 3 hours after taking the medication, I would get ringing in my ears. It is not constant. But it comes and goes 2-3 times in those first 3 or so hours after taking the medicine. After that, it's gone. It's a nuisance, but that's about all. I have watched it very carefully. And never lasts more than a minute or so per episode.
I would get a little light headed when changing positions after starting the medication as well. For example, if I stood up after sitting I would get light headed. But that eventually went away.
I have also gotten use to the metallic taste in my mouth that has started since starting this medication. I can't wait for this to go away.
Another fun little diddy, is that as with any antibiotic, it can tend to upset your tummy a little bit. And you can't take anything for that. You also can't take NSAIDS, such as ibuprofen. Advil is my go to medicine for pain, so this is not fun with headaches and sore joints. Tylenol doesn't seem to help much. But you do what you got to do.
I only have a few more days/doses left of this medication. And I have to say there had been more side effects I have experienced with it than anything I have ever taken. However, as much as a nuisance as they have been (or continue to be), they haven't been worth getting off the medicine.
My sinus headaches had gotten to the point where they debilitated me prior to starting this medication. It was constant and never ending. The pressure in my head alone made me nauseous and dizzy. No medicine over the counter was helping, and the first antibiotic I took didn't help either. I couldn't breath through my nose at all. And the drainage into my throat chest had done a number on my body as well. My coughing was beginning to hurt my ribs. And my throat was so sore, swollen, and raw from the drainage, I had lost my voice. My husband had to take me to the doctor this second time around. I couldn't walk a few feet with out feeling like I was going to fall over from the dizziness. There was no way I could drive. I was so miserable tears fell from my eyes in spite of me trying to my hardest to keep them from doing so. Crying was only going to make my headache worse and that was the last thing I needed.
I guess what I am trying to say is that being sick for so long, and how bad it had gotten for me, was worse than all the side effects I have experienced with Levaquin. I have 3 kids, 2 dogs, a husband, and a home to care for. I need to be well! I am so sick of being sick!
Since starting the medication I can now say my headache that was constant is no longer that way. Yesterday and the day before I woke up headache free! And stayed that way until the afternoon! Today, as I type this, it's after 2 pm, and I still have NO headache! I can breathe through my nose again as well. All the liquids I expel (blowing my nose or coughing up) are now clear! No more blood or dark yellow/green/brown mixture. =) Army green mucus with blood in it is not fun to see or expel. Trust me.
I suggest anyone being prescribed this medication talk to their doctor and read the black box warning. It is a very serious medication. A friend's husband ended up in the hospital after taking this medication.
Here is just a sample of some of the black box warning for Levaquin:
Get emergency medical help if you have any of these signs of an allergic reaction while taking levofloxacin (the active ingredient contained in Levaquin) hives; difficult breathing; swelling of your face, lips, tongue, or throat.
Stop using levofloxacin and call your doctor at once if you have a serious side effect such as:
-
chest pain and severe dizziness, fainting, fast or pounding heartbeats;
-
sudden pain, snapping or popping sound, bruising, swelling, tenderness, stiffness, or loss of movement in any of your joints;
-
diarrhea that is watery or bloody;
-
confusion, hallucinations, depression, tremors, feeling restless or
anxious, unusual thoughts or behavior, insomnia, nightmares, seizure
(convulsions);
-
severe headache, ringing in your ears, nausea, vision problems, pain behind your eyes;
-
pale skin, fever, weakness, easy bruising or bleeding;
-
nausea, upper stomach pain, itching, loss of appetite, dark urine,
clay-colored stools, jaundice (yellowing of the skin or eyes);
-
urinating less than usual or not at all;
-
numbness, burning pain, or tingly feeling in your hands or feet;
-
the first sign of any skin rash, no matter how mild; or
-
severe skin reaction -- fever, sore throat, swelling in your face or
tongue, burning in your eyes, skin pain, followed by a red or purple
skin rash that spreads (especially in the face or upper body) and causes
blistering and peeling.
-
mild diarrhea, constipation, vomiting;
-
sleep problems (insomnia);
-
mild headache or dizziness; or
- vaginal itching or discharge.
Common side effects of Levaquin Oral:
| Head Pain | Less Severe |
Infrequent side effects of Levaquin Oral:
| Indigestion | Less Severe |
| Incomplete or Infrequent Bowel Movements | Less Severe |
| Drowsiness | Less Severe |
| Dizzy | Less Severe |
| Chronic Trouble Sleeping | Less Severe |
| Taste Problems | Less Severe |
| Trouble Breathing | Less Severe |
| Feel Like Throwing Up | Less Severe |
| Throwing Up | Less Severe |
| Diarrhea | Less Severe |
| Stomach Cramps | Less Severe |
| Nervous | Less Severe |
| Infection due to the Candida Fungus | Less Severe |
Rare side effects of Levaquin Oral:
| Yellowing of Skin or Eyes from Liver Problems | Severe | |||
| Any Disorder of the Brain | Severe | |||
| Nerve Function Blockage that Affects Normal Muscle Action | Severe | |||
| Pancreatitis | Severe | |||
| Abnormal High and or Low Blood Sugar | Severe | |||
| Very Rapid Heartbeat - Torsades de Pointes | Severe | |||
| Prolonged Q-T Interval on EKG | Severe | |||
| Abnormal Heart Rhythm | Severe | |||
| Vasculitis | Severe | |||
| Thrombotic Thrombocytopenic Purpura | Severe | |||
| Inflammation in Lungs caused by Allergic Reaction | Severe | |||
| Acute Liver Failure | Severe | |||
| Hepatitis caused by Drugs | Severe | |||
| Interstitial Nephritis | Severe | |||
| Acute Kidney Disease | Severe | |||
| Severe Bloody Diarrhea from Antibiotics | Severe | |||
| Drug or Chemical-Induced Sensitivity to Sunlight | Severe | |||
| Erythema Multiforme | Severe | |||
| Toxic Epidermal Necrolysis | Severe | |||
| Stevens-Johnson Syndrome | Severe | |||
| Redness of Skin | Severe | |||
| Inflammation of the Tendon | Severe | |||
| Rupture of a Tendon | Severe | |||
| Rupture of a Tendon in the Shoulder Area | Severe | |||
| Rupture of Tendons that Extend the Hand and Wrist | Severe | |||
| Rupture of Tendons that Flex the Hand and Wrist | Severe | |||
| Rupture of the Tendon in the Back of the Heel | Severe | |||
| Serious Muscle Damage that may Lead to Kidney Failure | Severe | |||
| Hallucination | Severe | |||
| Seizures | Severe | |||
| Rash | Severe | |||
| Abnormal Liver Function Tests | Severe | |||
| Life Threatening Allergic Reaction | Severe | |||
| Giant Hives | Severe | |||
| Allergic Reaction caused by a Drug | Severe | |||
| Allergic Reaction causing Serum Sickness | Severe | |||
| Inflammation of the Liver with Stoppage of Bile Flow | Severe | |||
| High Pressure Within the Skull | Severe | |||
| Low Blood Sugar | Severe | |||
| Hemolytic Anemia | Severe | |||
| Low Blood Counts due to Bone Marrow Failure | Severe | |||
| Decreased White Blood Cells | Severe | |||
| Confused | Severe | |||
| Having Thoughts of Suicide | Severe | |||
| Nightmares | Less Severe | |||
| Feeling Restless | Less Severe | |||
| Depression | Less Severe | |||
| Numbness, Tingling or Pain of Hands or Feet | Less Severe | |||
| Problems with Eyesight | Less Severe | |||
| Ringing in the Ears | Less Severe | |||
| Hearing Problem | Less Severe | |||
| Painful, Red or Swollen Tongue | Less Severe | |||
| Burning Stomach | Less Severe | |||
| Inflammation of the Lining of the Stomach and Intestines | Less Severe | |||
| Inflammation or Infection of Vagina | Less Severe | |||
| Itching | Less Severe | |||
| Hives | Less Severe | |||
| Joint Pain | Less Severe | |||
| Muscle Pain | Less Severe | |||
| Involuntary Quivering | Less Severe | |||
| Abnormal Manner of Walking | Less Severe | |||
| Loss of Appetite | Less Severe | |||
| Nosebleed | Less Severe | |||
| Gas | Less Severe | |||
| High Blood Sugar | Less Severe | |||
| The Appearance of Crystals in the Urine | Less Severe | |||
| Acquired Decrease of All Cells in the Blood | Less Severe | |||
| Anemia | Less Severe | |||
| Decreased Blood Platelets | Less Severe | |||
| Deficiency of Granulocytes a Type of White Blood Cell | Less Severe | |||
| Mental Disorder Resulting from Poisonous Agents | Less Severe | |||
| Anxious | Less Severe |
The black box warning was 4 pages long (2 pages front and back). This is a very serious medication and is not for everyone! Please talk about any concerns you have about this medication with your doctor!
I simply wanted to put my personal account of taking this medication out there for any individuals considering taking this medication. And also for my own records. Since serious side effects can occur up to months after taking the medication, I figured it was best to make an account of all my side effects while on the medication.
Good luck to anyone considering taking this medicine. It is not for the weak.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Lucky 13?
2012 is finally coming to an end. And I must admit, I have mixed feelings about it. This year was full of ups and downs. For the longest time, it seemed like the downs would win.
We started off the year with my Granddad ill, then hospitalized. In February my kids got sick, and then we lost him. (At least for now. I hope to see him again someday....) It was not a good start to the year at all. His death started a chain of events that ripped through my marriage in a most ugly way for many many months. That was hard. We have had several other things happen with other family members that weren't easy for anyone as well.
For most of this year it seemed like a year of loss. I lost loved ones, and I thought I was finally going to lose my marriage at one point. I watched other loved ones and friends lose things that were important to them. But something changed this year in the midst of all the hardships. I think maybe, at age 35, I am finally starting to grow up. At least a little. Maybe....
I learned that you can't give up when life gets hard. You have to fight for what means the most to you. Never give up hope. Just because things are hard now, doesn't mean it's not going to get better. Keep hanging on. Keep fighting. Keep having faith. It may not always turn out like you imagined, but it will turn out for good if you just hang in there. And there is even a chance, it will turn out even better than you imagined.
I learned that loving someone doesn't mean you have to like everything about them. But it does mean you continue to show that love and compassion, even when it's hard to do it. Even when you think they don't deserve it. Love isn't about deserving it. Love gives freely, even when it hurts. You have to let love win. It's worth it. It's always worth it.
I have seen some of those that started out the year suffering the most, now in a position of hope and happiness.
This year did not start out well at all. But I have to say, for me... It's ending pretty well. Perhaps 2013 will continue in the blessings I have seen both in my life and in the lives of others I care about. One can only hope! But even if it doesn't, I know that if I keep the faith, never give up hope, and keep on fighting to live another day; it WILL get better once again. Every day has a dawn, an afternoon, a sunset, and a night. Perhaps our years are the same way. Maybe our lives follow that same cycle. But if that is true, then it truly is like they say. It's always darkest...just before dawn.
So for anyone out there in their darkest hour... hang on! Your dawn could be just around the corner. Who knows what wonders lie ahead in 2013. It's wide open. And I, personally, and am looking forward to seeing what it holds.
Happy New Year everyone. It is my heartfelt wish and prayer that 2013 be full of blessings for you all.
We started off the year with my Granddad ill, then hospitalized. In February my kids got sick, and then we lost him. (At least for now. I hope to see him again someday....) It was not a good start to the year at all. His death started a chain of events that ripped through my marriage in a most ugly way for many many months. That was hard. We have had several other things happen with other family members that weren't easy for anyone as well.
For most of this year it seemed like a year of loss. I lost loved ones, and I thought I was finally going to lose my marriage at one point. I watched other loved ones and friends lose things that were important to them. But something changed this year in the midst of all the hardships. I think maybe, at age 35, I am finally starting to grow up. At least a little. Maybe....
I learned that you can't give up when life gets hard. You have to fight for what means the most to you. Never give up hope. Just because things are hard now, doesn't mean it's not going to get better. Keep hanging on. Keep fighting. Keep having faith. It may not always turn out like you imagined, but it will turn out for good if you just hang in there. And there is even a chance, it will turn out even better than you imagined.
I learned that loving someone doesn't mean you have to like everything about them. But it does mean you continue to show that love and compassion, even when it's hard to do it. Even when you think they don't deserve it. Love isn't about deserving it. Love gives freely, even when it hurts. You have to let love win. It's worth it. It's always worth it.
I have seen some of those that started out the year suffering the most, now in a position of hope and happiness.
This year did not start out well at all. But I have to say, for me... It's ending pretty well. Perhaps 2013 will continue in the blessings I have seen both in my life and in the lives of others I care about. One can only hope! But even if it doesn't, I know that if I keep the faith, never give up hope, and keep on fighting to live another day; it WILL get better once again. Every day has a dawn, an afternoon, a sunset, and a night. Perhaps our years are the same way. Maybe our lives follow that same cycle. But if that is true, then it truly is like they say. It's always darkest...just before dawn.
So for anyone out there in their darkest hour... hang on! Your dawn could be just around the corner. Who knows what wonders lie ahead in 2013. It's wide open. And I, personally, and am looking forward to seeing what it holds.
Happy New Year everyone. It is my heartfelt wish and prayer that 2013 be full of blessings for you all.
Friday, November 9, 2012
30 Days of Thankfulness
There are many reasons I love the month of November. One being that my children only have one full of week of school the entire month, and that is the last week of the month. I love having the extra time with them.
Another reason is it is the unofficial start to the holiday season. I think the official start is Thanksgiving. It's kind of like how Memorial Day is the unofficial start to summer, even though Summer doesn't really start until the end of June. lol The holiday season is my most favorite time of year. So any start to it, is usually a good one in my book.
It's also the month I first became a mommy. My eldest will be 11 this month. This fact alone makes it one of my most favorite months of the year.
And then there is Thanksgiving. The holiday in which we Americans gather together with family and loved ones to give thanks for all that we have, and have endured. It's a time of reflection. And as the name of the holiday itself states, a time of thanksgiving.
A trend I have taken part in the past few years is called "30 Days of Thanks". It's an online trend, mostly on Facebook and Twitter, where you post something you are thankful for each day in November. And you aren't allowed to post the same thankfulness twice. Each day must be something new. And I have to tell you, I love this idea. I love participating in it!
At the end of each day, I sit and reflect. I find just one thing to be thankful for, and post it. Viola! Done, right? Well, kinda.....
Sitting at the end of each day and reflecting on it, finding things to be thankful for, is a wonderful way to end your day. Even on the most trying days. It gets your heart and mind in a good place. It's kind of cleansing. It also helps put you in the right mood/frame of mind/spirit for the up coming holiday season.
Some days you are easier than others. Some days something so wonderful has taken place, you can't wait to jump on in the middle of the day and post what it is you are thankful for (example: I am so thankful my spouse got a promotion!). Other days aren't so easy. Some days you are thankful for things like your home or health or family. Other days you may really have to search to find something. But it's there. It's always there, no matter how little or basic you think it may be. But when you find it, that thing you truly are thankful for, it warms your heart.
I love reading other people's thankful posts as well. Some are down right funny! For example, on one particularly trying day, a friend of mine was thankful for a cold beer at the end of that day. lol Others are heartbreaking. Like a post about being thankful for the short time they were allowed with their child before the child passed away. Some are very simple posts. Like being thankful for hugs, or children's laughter, or even for the sun shining outside.
Each and every posts I see helps my heart in some way. Each and every post I write helps me get to a better place mentally and emotionally. I find that reading these posts, and posting myself, helps get the focus off of my selfish nature. It helps to humble us in some ways. It helps take one from selfish to grateful. And when you start living your life with a grateful attitude instead of a selfish one, you see it begin to change and brighten. You start to feel lighter.
"30 Days of Thankfulness" is a challenge I enjoy being a part of. It is a challenge I am going to start giving my kids (they don't have online accounts, but we can sit and talk every night before bed). It's a challenge and cause that can be uplifting, and some ways, life changing. It's a challenge I think everyone should try and be a part of.
Can you imagine what would happen to the heart of a nation, if every person in it took time at the end of the day to find something to be thankful for? What would happen at the end of those 30 days, when selfish attitudes gave way to attitudes of gratefulness? One can only imagine!!!
Another reason is it is the unofficial start to the holiday season. I think the official start is Thanksgiving. It's kind of like how Memorial Day is the unofficial start to summer, even though Summer doesn't really start until the end of June. lol The holiday season is my most favorite time of year. So any start to it, is usually a good one in my book.
It's also the month I first became a mommy. My eldest will be 11 this month. This fact alone makes it one of my most favorite months of the year.
And then there is Thanksgiving. The holiday in which we Americans gather together with family and loved ones to give thanks for all that we have, and have endured. It's a time of reflection. And as the name of the holiday itself states, a time of thanksgiving.
A trend I have taken part in the past few years is called "30 Days of Thanks". It's an online trend, mostly on Facebook and Twitter, where you post something you are thankful for each day in November. And you aren't allowed to post the same thankfulness twice. Each day must be something new. And I have to tell you, I love this idea. I love participating in it!
At the end of each day, I sit and reflect. I find just one thing to be thankful for, and post it. Viola! Done, right? Well, kinda.....
Sitting at the end of each day and reflecting on it, finding things to be thankful for, is a wonderful way to end your day. Even on the most trying days. It gets your heart and mind in a good place. It's kind of cleansing. It also helps put you in the right mood/frame of mind/spirit for the up coming holiday season.
Some days you are easier than others. Some days something so wonderful has taken place, you can't wait to jump on in the middle of the day and post what it is you are thankful for (example: I am so thankful my spouse got a promotion!). Other days aren't so easy. Some days you are thankful for things like your home or health or family. Other days you may really have to search to find something. But it's there. It's always there, no matter how little or basic you think it may be. But when you find it, that thing you truly are thankful for, it warms your heart.
I love reading other people's thankful posts as well. Some are down right funny! For example, on one particularly trying day, a friend of mine was thankful for a cold beer at the end of that day. lol Others are heartbreaking. Like a post about being thankful for the short time they were allowed with their child before the child passed away. Some are very simple posts. Like being thankful for hugs, or children's laughter, or even for the sun shining outside.
Each and every posts I see helps my heart in some way. Each and every post I write helps me get to a better place mentally and emotionally. I find that reading these posts, and posting myself, helps get the focus off of my selfish nature. It helps to humble us in some ways. It helps take one from selfish to grateful. And when you start living your life with a grateful attitude instead of a selfish one, you see it begin to change and brighten. You start to feel lighter.
"30 Days of Thankfulness" is a challenge I enjoy being a part of. It is a challenge I am going to start giving my kids (they don't have online accounts, but we can sit and talk every night before bed). It's a challenge and cause that can be uplifting, and some ways, life changing. It's a challenge I think everyone should try and be a part of.
Can you imagine what would happen to the heart of a nation, if every person in it took time at the end of the day to find something to be thankful for? What would happen at the end of those 30 days, when selfish attitudes gave way to attitudes of gratefulness? One can only imagine!!!
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
....
I have had hard year. Not as hard as some I know and love, admittedly, but hard. I haven't really aired a lot of my problems or issues. It was really none of anyone's business. And since I know others going through worse things, I am trying still not whine too much.
But things over here have to come to head, and I feel utterly alone. I would love someone to reach out to me. I mean, I'm' not real sure I want to talk about it all, but it would be nice to know that someone out there gave a damn. Ya know?
I don't know. I just really hate this year. And I'm not sure if next year will be much better. I hope it is.
But things over here have to come to head, and I feel utterly alone. I would love someone to reach out to me. I mean, I'm' not real sure I want to talk about it all, but it would be nice to know that someone out there gave a damn. Ya know?
I don't know. I just really hate this year. And I'm not sure if next year will be much better. I hope it is.
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